A Wolf by Any Other Name
by Eligh
Summary: AU, Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. Slash, violence, angsty.
1. Chapter 1

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Remus leaves. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Slashy boyxboy. Later chapters will contain more slash plus graphic violence. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does. _

**_A/N:_**_ Ok, this is my first attempt at publishing stuff I write. Right now, this looks to be rounding out at about 11ish chapters, and I am going to try to publish one chapter a week. This is going to be M for a reason, so if you don't like, don't bother :) __I would, however, love you forever if you comment._

**Chapter 1 **

It was two nights after the full moon when the two wizards met at the Shrieking Shack. They shook hands in silence, and slid through a hidden entrance, using wands both to unlock the door and then to reinforce the silencing and locking spells once inside, making it next to impossible for anyone to find them.

The younger man looked exhausted—he had a fresh scar running from just underneath his right ear, going down to where it disappeared in the neck of his robes. He moved slowly, his ribs aching, and his knees cracked loudly when he settled on a rickety chair.

He spoke quietly when he outlined his plan for infiltrating Voldemort's army, noting the best ways to achieve certain goals, hesitating before voicing concerns and dangers of his idea, imploring the older wizard to agree with the necessity of what he suggested.

The older wizard regarded the werewolf with careful eyes. He adjusted his half-moon spectacles, and drew a heavy breath.

"Remus, what you're proposing is incredibly dangerous. Infiltrating their operation will be next to impossible, and you know the Death Eaters won't hesitate to kill you if they find you out. I want you to be fully aware of what you are asking to do."

Remus Lupin was finding it hard to collect his thoughts. He was still surprised with himself—surprised that he had even mentioned the idea of going undercover into Voldemort's operation to his ex-Professor, now leader. He ran a weary hand though his sandy brown hair and tried for a moment to find the correct words. Finally, he blurted them out, all while shaking his head furiously.

"I know. But we have to do something! They always seem to know what we're planning; they're one step ahead, without fail! If I do this, I could… I don't know, sabotage them from the inside. Maybe find the traitor. Definitely find the traitor," he amended. He dropped his eyes and played nervously with the hem of his worn robes. "Besides, they'll believe that I've turned. It wouldn't make sense or be believable for it to be anyone else. I am a Dark Creature, after all." He spit out these last words, dropping his hands from his clothes and meeting Dumbledore's eyes once again.

There was a brief moment of silence as the older man pointedly ignored the self-deprecating remark. His eyes clouded, and he appeared lost in his thoughts. Finally, he shook himself slightly, meeting the werewolf's eyes once more.

"Have you spoken to anyone else in the Order about this?" Dumbledore queried softly, but both men knew who he was really talking about.

"No. It would be more believable if I just… disappear." Remus drew a hand across his face slowly. "Sirius wouldn't want me to go… he wouldn't understand. It has to look real. And… he's not a very good actor. If he was running around, same as always, they'd know something was up."

There was a slight quiver in his voice as he uttered these words, but the older wizard tactfully ignored the tremble.

"We also do not know the identity of the real traitor. The fewer people who know your true intentions, the better. It is a good idea, Remus. We could use another set of eyes in the Death Eater's camp."

"Another?"

Dumbledore hesitated.

"Yes…" he drew the word out slowly, deciding quickly that both moles should know of the other's presence. "It would be best if you were able to work together." He paused again. "She's a vampire, actually. She was responsible for alerting us when Frank and Alice were compromised, she saved Moody when he was ambushed by the Carrows, and she's been feeding us all the small bits of information she's been able to uncover.

"She's proven invaluable, but her direct contact is necessarily minimal. Obviously, it is impossible for her to engage in daytime activities, and because of her nature, the rest of the Death Eaters dislike and shun her for the most part."

"Do I know this woman?" Remus asked, suddenly relieved that since this really appeared to be happening, he would be going into it knowing there was a friendly face amongst all the evil ones.

"I doubt it very much. She was a year behind me when I was in school. Her name is Sariah Bane."

Remus thought that despite Dumbledore's misgivings, he recognized the name. A hazy image of a pale-skinned woman, eyes hidden by sunglasses, floated through his mind. That's right—they had been in the waiting room together when the Ministry had cracked down on the registry of Dark Creatures. Lost in his thoughts _(she was a vampire? I thought she was another werewolf) _he barely realized that Dumbledore was continuing—

"…She was converted when she was twenty-three, and had been working as an archivist and researcher for me. She often handled the paperwork aspects of early Order-related things. We felt, at the time, that her conversion was a direct attack at me, but nothing came of it, so we were unsure. Fortunately, she retained much of her original personality after her conversion, and when Voldemort began to rise in power, she faked disillusionment and went undercover to spy on the Death Eaters. She has been there for four years."

There was a brief silence, while Remus contemplated four years, alone, pretending to be… something so horrible… He shook his head and again fixed his gaze on the older wizard, intent on discussing the particulars of this plan.

"So how do I go about doing this? A big public fight and storm out? Pass on some seemingly juicy, but really useless, information?"

"Well, fortunately for us, we've had you mostly in the background—you don't engage in many direct confrontations with the Death Eaters. They probably are unaware of the extent of your involvement, so it should be relatively easy for you to supply some small bits of information. Nothing too specific, but seemingly damaging. Perhaps a list of already-known Order members, along with one or two unknowns, maybe a meeting location we've since abandoned…"

Dumbledore continued, but Remus again only half-listened. He ran his hands through his already greying hair and thought instead about what he had suggested, what he was going to do. Sirius, James, Peter, Lily… not to mention everyone else in the Order… they would all think he was a traitor. But this was important. Someone was feeding information to Voldemort's camp, and it needed to stop. This was the only way he could think of to help.

After talking with Dumbledore for another half an hour, fleshing out plans, discussing what information he should provide to the other side, and being told the password and a description of the woman he would be working with, Remus slowly gathered his things to go. A gentle hand on his arm stopped him.

"Take one more night with your friends. Leave in the morning. Don't let them know what is going on… but say goodbye. You may not see them again."

Remus nodded his assent, and turned on his heel, Disapparating where he stood.

**OoOoOoO**

That night found five friends gathered around a table at the Hog's Head. They were laughing and reminiscing about times at Hogwarts, and the butterbeer and firewhiskey were flowing freely.

"…and then he sprouted purple feathers!" James gasped out between guffaws, joined uproariously by Peter, Sirius, and Remus. Lily giggled more reservedly, but her eyes were still gleaming in mirth.

"Served the tosser right," added Sirius, "after that potion that he mixed to make us all grow spines instead of hair. That was one painful week." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Remus, who remembered vividly how quickly a late-night attempt at romance had been quelled when his lover's downstairs hair had ripped a hole in his hand. That had been awkward to explain to Madame Pomfrey the next morning.

In an attempt to steer the topic to a more public-appropriate one, James raised his glass for a toast.

"To good times at Hogwarts, good friends, and an end to this bloody war!"

Glasses were clinked, shouts of agreement were called, and beverages were downed.

Inside, Remus ached.

**OoOoOoO**

An hour or so later, the friends were calling it a night. After James and Lily had hugged everyone tight and set off home, and Peter had smiled widely at the group and then went his own way, Sirius and Remus were left alone in the booth.

"Let's go home, love." Sirius leaned over to Remus, drawing his hand to his lips. One gentle kiss and needful look later, the two men were rushing to grab cloaks and concentrating on not splinching themselves in a hurry to leave.

When they reappeared in their living room, Remus' first action was to draw Sirius into a long, lingering kiss. The other man responded in kind, and robes, vests, trousers, and pants were quickly shed on their way to the bedroom.

"Is there are reason for this extraordinary display of eroticism?" Sirius whispered into his lover's neck, once they had landed on the bed. "Did I do something good?"

"You're always good," laughed Remus. "I just want you tonight. Just… celebrate us… when we can, you know?"

Sirius caught Remus' chin, a small worried expression flitting across his face.

"Is there something wrong? You've been quieter than usual all night."

"Nothing's wrong," Remus lied smoothly, moving Sirius' hand and pressing his face forward for a kiss. Soon they were caught up in the moment, and any trepidations left Sirius' mind.

Remus wound up underneath an exuberant Sirius, kissing, rubbing, feeling. Trying to put out of his mind that this was his last night with his partner, Remus threw himself fully into rememorizing every aspect of the dark-haired man. His fingers traced Sirius' muscles, outlined so clearly on his chest and stomach, his tongue gently caressed the sensitive spots that only he knew, and he took in every moan, tremble, and jerk of Sirius' body.

Remus felt himself take a hitching breath, and felt tears swell in his eyes. He loved this man so much—leaving him was going to be the hardest part of this mission. But the less Sirius knew, the less he could reveal if… something happened. But Remus couldn't think about that, not now…

Blinking back tears (which hopefully had gone unnoticed) he whispered softly in his lover's ear, and the other man responded by reaching to their bedside stand, grasping at the lube they kept stashed there. Remus moaned as he felt Sirius' long fingers preparing him, and his golden amber eyes flew open to meet stormy grey ones when those fingers brushed repeatedly at that sensitive spot, deep inside.

Gasping through the pleasure coursing through him, he cupped Sirius' face to his own, kissing the other man longingly. Sirius returned the kiss, and removed his fingers, replacing them with something that filled Remus so much more. They joined, moving as one, heads falling back in pleasure, breaths short and needful.

Afterward, they lay together, their limbs intertwined, their heartbeats slowing. Kissing his partner softly, Remus looked deeply into grey eyes, struggling with what to say—he couldn't give anything away, but he couldn't just leave without saying goodbye…

"I love you. So much," he finally forced out.

A smile played at Sirius' gorgeous lips.

"I know. I'm magnificent."

Remus smiled, closing his eyes. There was a pause, and then he felt the purr of Sirius' voice on his neck.

"I love you too. You and me, forever. I'm lost without you, Remus."

Remus felt something break inside him at this confession, and he struggled not to gasp. How could he leave this man? How could he make him hate him?

Unable to speak, Remus crushed his mouth against Sirius', and if he was finally unable to hold back the tears, he prayed Sirius would think them tears of happiness, rather than despair.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus rose early and gathered a small bag of things—clothes, his toothbrush, a picture of Sirius. He looked down at his still-sleeping lover and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius."

He left the flat, refusing to look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Remus is in, Sirius discovers his defection. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, mild depictions of violence_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ So I'm having an easier time writing this than I thought I was going to (yay, right?), so here's the next chapter. This one's mostly exposition, with a touch of action-I'll update again later this week with more. Thanks to the Azlarok Tolkien, CyilEib, and appelsiini for the reviews-you guys totally made my day. :)_

**Chapter 2 **

Remus Apparated into the most up-to-date Death Eater meeting location known to the Order. It was an abandoned building in a run-down suburb of Cardiff that had once been a bar, but all that was left to tell that was a barstool, missing one leg, and the odd broken brown bottle.

It reeked of mold, decay, and something else that Remus' nose, still enhanced from the full, noticed was vaguely metallic… the werewolf gagged and tried to ignore a particularly large swatch of reddish brown something that had been splattered on the back wall. He doubted very much that Death Eater meetings were as civilized as the ones he was used to attending for the Order. He wondered who the smear had once been…

Forcing himself to turn back to matters at hand, he pulled out his wand. He had doubted anyone would actually be at the bar, so he was planning on leaving a message for someone to find. So he was extremely surprised when, as he trained his wand on the wall to etch a note, he felt another wand being shoved forcibly into his right temple.

Cursing himself for not looking around more carefully, he turned, and blinking, focused on the insane eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange. He gulped, and attempted a smile.

"Hello, mutt," the woman grated out. "What are doing here, all scrumptious and alone? I'll have you know, if this is a trap, it's a pretty stupid one."

Here it was. If he was smart and acted well, he was in. If not, well, there would be one less werewolf in the world. Fortunately, the demented witch seemed more… lucid… than normal, so he at least would probably have a chance to talk.

He cleared this throat, harshening his voice and steeling his eyes.

"I'm done with the mudbloods and blood traitors." He took a moment to register the look of surprise on her face, and continued.

"They're weak, pathetic, fools—fighting something that will so obviously overpower them… and I want a place in the world when they're destroyed." Remus spoke the words he'd rehearsed, willing himself to look hateful and disdainful when speaking of his friends.

"Besides, all the sneaking around, chaining myself, hiding away… trying to domesticate the wolf…" He flapped a hand dismissively. "Greyback was right—I was on the wrong side. I've come to my senses. I want to join you.

His words seemed to have worked, if only slightly. Bellatrix lowered her wand a few centimeters, and looked him up and down, a calculating gleam in her eyes.

"You don't think we'll just take you, do you?"

"I, of course, did not come empty handed. I have information." The witch opened her mouth, and Remus cut her off. "For the Dark Lord only," he finished, trying to sound as haughty as possible. "I'll take my instructions from Him, and Him only."

Considering this for a moment, the witch continued to watch Remus. The seconds dragged into minutes, and finally Remus felt the urge to break the thrumming silence.

"So… do I pass?" he asked softly, aware that this moment marked what was probably one of the most dangerous positions in which he had ever been, and he tried not to let his nerves show when he saw the devious look flit across Bellatrix's face. She leaned forward, getting uncomfortably close, and spoke softly in Remus' ear.

"Got tired of fucking my cousin, then?"

Remus gulped at this turn of the conversation. He and Sirius had never tried to hide their relationship, so he shouldn't have been surprised that Bellatrix had mentioned it. Still, the mention of his partner hurt more than he was willing to show. Taking a breath, he shook his head.

"Sirius was… just a toy. A good one, but a toy nonetheless. Maybe if the sex was better, I would have had more incentive to stay." He felt that he successfully kept the hurt out of his eyes and voice as he said this, and it seemed to work.

Bellatrix threw her head back and barked out a harsh laugh at that made Remus cringe.

"Hope you crushed him before you left." She paused again, and seemed to make up her mind. "Yea, let's go see the Dark Lord. He might be interested in this turn of events."

She grabbed his arm, and dragged Remus along when she Disapparated.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus collapsed in the motel room he had been given. He had done it—he was working for Voldemort. But it had not been easy. The last two days had been a seemingly endless interrogation, where he was drilled over and over for information. Voldemort's idea of extracting information had been more painful than he had thought, and Remus had several new cuts and scars—not to mention a badly healed broken wrist—to show for his defection.

The worst had come with Antonin Dolohov. He had insisted that Remus' change of heart was unlikely, so the first half a day in Voldemort's care, the werewolf had suffered unbelievable agony at the hands of the other man. However, Remus had finally convinced the doubters, simply by being as forthcoming as possible. He had finally decided that Dolohov's ministrations were less about getting information and more about simply enjoying inflicting pain.

Privately, Remus was almost happy—for the first time in his life—that being a werewolf made him no stranger to pain.

He had given the Death Eaters names of people—his friends—who were involved in the fight, locations of meetings, times, dates, so much. Dumbledore had promised that they wouldn't be endangered, but it still felt disturbingly real—much too close to actual betrayal. And through it all he had acted eager, hateful, like he was thrilled to impart his knowledge, to hand over his friends.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

A few hours ago, Dolohov had reappeared with a key to a room in a nearby motel, and instructions to begin visiting werewolf packs in the area. Remus was given money and a short list of contacts, and was then unceremoniously dumped on the road outside the house Voldemort was temporarily making his base.

Remus would not be expected to check in for a week, and it had been strongly suggested that by then he should have positive work to show toward the recruitment of the werewolf packs.

So there he was, a new pawn in the fight against everything that was right and good.

Remus dragged himself to the musty bed and curled around a pillow. He willed himself not to cry himself to sleep, and in this he was successful. It was only after he had passed into unconsciousness that the tears began to flow.

**OoOoOoO**

When Sirius had awoken two weeks ago, Remus had been conspicuously absent from his side of the bed. Still, Sirius had smiled. Remus was probably making breakfast—it was one of the most adorable habits his boyfriend had. After a night of particularly passionate lovemaking, Sirius knew he could count on a delicious spread of waffles and eggs.

But when he wandered to the kitchen, stretching to make sure Remus got a good eyeful of his toned stomach and chest, no one was there.

Remus hadn't been at the Order meeting that afternoon, either, and none of his fellow fighters had seen or heard from him.

Sirius' already worried state escalated quickly.

It was a terrible sign when a member of the Order disappeared without a trace. But there had been no signs of struggle, no crowing notes left from the Death Eaters declaring their involvement in a death or capture, nothing.

Dumbledore assured Sirius they would start a search, but when he said the words, Sirius was sure the older wizard's eyes held something else… pain? Pity? Something.

Days went by with no word.

Then there was the fight in Diagon Alley.

Sirius and Peter had been walking down the street, out on business to Gringott's and maybe to get lunch. You always had to get lunch when you were out with Peter.

They had been taken unawares, green light suddenly flying at them from a storefront, civilians scattering amongst screams.

Sirius had whirled on his feet, getting behind an overturned table, pulling Peter down with him, and time seemed to slow down.

Both men had pulled out their wands, Sirius screaming _Stupefy_, while for some reason Peter went with _Crucio_. Sirius glanced at him in shock for half a moment before turning his full attention on the battle—there were at least three different people shooting curses at them.

Realizing they were outnumbered, Sirius was able to grab Peter and Disapparate quickly enough. But… not before he saw a familiar shock of light brown hair. Sirius' mind had stuttered, unable to accept the sight before his eyes.

Remus had been standing next to Yaxley and Malfoy, a wicked look marring his beautiful features, green light shooting from his wand.

At Sirius. At Peter. Remus, his Remus, trying to kill them.

Sirius nearly splinched himself in shock. When they reappeared, Peter just shook his head, unable to think of anything to say. His hand on Sirius' shoulder—attempting to provide comfort—proved too much, and Sirius collapsed to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably, all thoughts of Peter's oddly violent reaction forgotten.

**OoOoOoO**

"You fucking idiot, Lupin! You were aiming too high! Black was right in front of you!" Malfoy was leaning over Remus after knocking him down. Remus touched his hand to his split lip, and didn't meet the other man's eyes.

"I was never good at dueling. I'm sorry, Malfoy. The Dark Lord did say I'd be better in the background."

"I don't give a fuck! When we need backup, you need to be the bloody backup! Willing. to. kill. Get over your pathetic attraction to your old fuck buddy." He leaned down, menacingly. "Pull your act together, wolf, or I will make you regret your defection."

Remus nodded, not moving. Malfoy spit on the ground, narrowly missing his face, and stalked away. Yaxley glared, and also spit, this one not missing Remus' face. He leered at Remus a moment longer, and then turned to follow Malfoy.

Remus watched them go with half shut eyes. That had been so close… much too close. Plus, he knew that Sirius had seen him. He knew it had to happen sooner or later, but it still hurt far worse than he wanted to admit.

He pushed himself to his feet, wiping a hand across his face in disgust, and it was then that he realized how badly he was shaking. He didn't think he could do that again, shoot curses at his loved ones… never. He would speak to Voldemort about immersing himself more fully with the packs he was courting, and pray the insane man listened to his pleas. Anything to keep him away from Sirius.

**OoOoOoO**

"It was Remus. He's" –Sirius' breath hitched—"gone over. Betrayed us."

His announcement was greeted by shocked looks all around.

The silence dragged out. Suddenly, James smashed his fist on the table and stood up.

"I can't believe this. It's Remus, people! He wouldn't! He's… Remus…" James' voice trailed off, looking around at the stony faces staring back at him. Lily had her face in her hands, and had started crying softly.

"He's a werewolf. It makes sense," Kingsley voiced hesitantly. "I mean, if someone were to turn, it makes sense that it would be him…" Several other members nodded in agreement, but more simply looked crestfallen or shocked.

"No, you've got to be mistaken," James pleaded, turning to Sirius.

Peter spoke up. "It's true. I saw him too. He tried to kill us, James." The silence enveloped the room again. No one looked at anyone else.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Right, we will…" he trailed off. "Meet Tuesday, I suppose. Everyone know the location and password?" The Order members murmured their assent, and slowly left the cramped room.

"Sirius, can you stay a moment?" Sirius stopped in his tracks, and turned to face Dumbledore.

"Perhaps you should take some time off. This must be difficult for you."

"I'm fine," Sirius grated out. "I don't want time off. I want to… do something. Anything to keep my mind off this."

"Remus was—"

"Remus is dead to me. What Remus? Who?" Sirius' eyes filled with tears even as he spit his lover's name out like venom. Not bothering to let Dumbledore say more, he turned and stalked away.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, a bit of not particularly graphic smuttiness, lots of exposition involving introducing a new character. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, masturbation, super mild violence_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ Sorry it took me a couple days to get this up-I'm having a hell of a time in my stupid summer class. Women's Studies essays and a shortened schedule exhaust the crap out of me. Anywhoo, enjoy and review, please!_

**Chapter 3 **

Remus glanced out the window at the fat moon. His first full while undercover was tomorrow, and he was nervous, mostly because earlier in the week, Fenrir Greyback, the bastard, had surprised him at the house Remus was holed up in. Remus' maker had clapped him on the back, exuberantly greeting him and welcoming him onto the "right" side.

After forced pleasantries, Fenrir had insisted that Remus run with his pack tomorrow night. Remus had tried to make up an excuse about how the wolf was used to being caged, but Fenrir had laughed and dismissed that as having lived too long with humans. Remus had not been able to escape the invite, and now the full was looming twice as heavy on the horizon.

The older werewolf's parting words circled his brain madly: "We're changing near a muggle town. No little bites this time, Remus! Just some nice, tasty meals." The monster had then left, laughing.

Despite the horror of what that comment meant, Remus couldn't stop other thoughts from intruding on his mind. This would be his first full moon spent without Sirius in almost ten years. It was bound to be rough, even if he wasn't worried about mauling innocent civilians.

What would Sirius be doing tomorrow night? Would he be thinking about Remus? The werewolf sighed and closed his eyes, giving in to his memories. After all, they were his only respite from his daily misery.

_Sirius laughing and earnestly telling Remus he would never be alone during the full ever again, right before proudly showing off his newly perfected animagus form…_

_Their first kiss, surprising both of them in their fifth year, when Sirius was carefully tending his friend's wounds after a particularly bad transformation…._

_Their shabby flat they had rented as "roommates" after graduation, and how excited Sirius had been when they bought a couch together…_

_Sirius' laughing face when their fellow Marauders put two and two together…_

_Sirius' post-orgasmic face after a night of mind-blowing sex…_

_Sirius' gorgeous eyes, gazing up at him when he had his mouth wrapped around Remus' cock…_

Remus whimpered when his thoughts went where they inevitably would, and palmed himself through his trousers. Giving in, he imagined it was Sirius' hand doing the work and pulled himself out. He spit on his hand, and began to roughly stroke up and down, occasionally swiping his thumb across his tip.

It only took a couple minutes of desperate tugging, and aided by memories of his love, he came, moaning Sirius' name into the quiet room.

Exhausted and miserable, he fell backwards onto the bed, not bothering to clean up.

**OoOoOoO**

Sirius was staring out the window of their—_his, he corrected himself. Not Remus' anymore—_flat, looking at the moon. Tomorrow was the full, the first since Remus had betrayed them. Sirius wondered if Remus would run with a pack or stay alone. He knew there would be plenty of werewolves to run with in Voldemort's army if Remus wanted company.

He'd been trying so hard not to think of the other man. He'd buried himself in work for the Order, but had been getting into progressively more and more dangerous confrontations. Yesterday, after Sirius had returned with half the skin of his chest flayed off, the normally unflappable Dumbledore had harshly told him that the suggestion to take a couple day breather was now an order.

And now it was almost the full, and how was he supposed to not think about Remus?

His anger at the other man hadn't abated in the slightest. Sirius couldn't wrap his head around how the man he had spent so many years with, the man he had loved with all his heart, could lie to him so completely, so coldly.

He kept telling himself that Remus had never loved him, that all those sweet nothings he had whispered into Sirius' willing ears had been falsities, something designed to get the other man to trust him.

He couldn't force himself to believe his own thoughts.

Thinking back again to that last night, there could be no possibility that Remus didn't love him. The werewolf's words had been so true, the emotion in the room almost physically thick. Remus had cried, for Merlin's sake!

_He'd probably been crying because he knew his time was up, and he would have to go back to Voldy_, Sirius thought bitterly. But the words didn't ring true.

Now that the young wizard had let his mind slide back to nights with Remus, he couldn't stop images flashing behind his closed eyes, unknowingly mirroring the thoughts of his far-distant lover.

_Romping with Moony as Padfoot, their first kiss, their second kiss, losing their virginity together, this flat and everything that had happened in it, Remus' leanly muscled body, the amazing, all-encompassing sex…_

Not letting himself think, he pulled himself out and stroked at the raging erection he had grown from his memories of Remus. He pulled on himself hard enough for pain to shoot through his system, but he didn't care. Rather, he almost liked it—the pain proved that he could still feel something, at least.

He latched onto a particular memory—_Shortly after they'd graduated and moved here, Remus stretched out on their brand-new bed, the scars on his torso and thighs glowing slightly paler than the rest of his skin, glistening in the candlelight. They'd spent the night making love, over and over, and the next morning, neither of them were able to even get out of bed. _

Crying out softly, Sirius came into his palm, whispering Remus' name.

Coming down, he looked with disgust at his hand. Grimacing, he grabbed his wand and muttered a cleaning spell. Then he tossed the wand across the room, and lay down on the couch, only letting a few hot tears roll down his face before he fell into a fitful sleep.

He hadn't been able to sleep in their bed since Remus left.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus was awakened by a knock on his door. He started at the loud noise, and almost fell off the bed before catching himself.

He grabbed his wand, quickly buttoned his trousers from when he had left them open before, and cautiously went to answer the knock.

Upon opening the door, he was greeted by a young woman with long black hair, pale skin, and the telltale fully black eyes of a vampire. Remus stared for a moment, and then realized that this must be Sariah Bane, the other spy Dumbledore had told him about.

He stepped back and gestured for her to come in.

There was a slight pause, before she said, somewhat awkwardly, "You need to actually invite me in. Out loud."

"Oh. Sorry… um, come in?"

"Ta."

The vampire moved gracefully, swirling her long skirt unconsciously as she took a seat on his recently vacated bed. She didn't speak further, and when the silence grew to uncomfortable lengths, Remus finally gave in and broke it.

"So… the Phoenix only flies at midnight…"

"Because he burns too brightly at noon."

Both people visibly relaxed as they heard the other utter the previously-agreed upon passwords. They extended their hands and touched briefly, exchanging introductions.

"Sariah Bane."

"Remus Lupin."

There was another awkward pause, and then Remus turned from her and took a moment to re-strengthen the silencing and deterring spells around his room. He saw the woman withdraw her wand and quickly search for listening or watching spells.

He knew there was one, a listening spell that he had counter-jinxed to currently sound only like the gentle snores of a werewolf to anyone who may be spying, and he watched the vampire as she smiled when she found it.

"You have no small amount of talent," she said softly, turning to face him.

"I wouldn't be here if I was a Squib."

"True." The woman paused, mouth opening to say more, her face showing a brief glimpse of some unreadable emotion, but then she shook her head and continued serenely.

"Our friend would like us to work together. The last time I spoke with him was necessarily rushed, however, so I did not get the full extent of how we should interact."

Remus smiled at her unwillingness to say Dumbledore's name out loud, and at the same time, he realized that her care and unwillingness to rely solely on spells was what probably had allowed her to successfully stay undercover as long as she had.

"Well," he responded slowly, thinking how to best phrase things, "he was similarly vague with me. How about you tell me how you work, and we can come up with a plan together that would allow me to cover the places that aren't available to you."

The woman looked at him critically, like she was still deciding whether or not he should be trusted. Remus realized with a start that she was not breathing, and that as young as she appeared (younger than him, certainly) she was actually much closer to Dumbledore's age. As "dark" a creature as a werewolf was, at least he had a respite from his curse. He came to the conclusion that vampires were much more intimidating.

"I was an exceptionally powerful witch," Sariah said suddenly, knocking him out of his reverie. "And an animagus. When I was converted, I retained my personality, a sane mind, and most of my magical abilities, which is almost unheard of in vampire circles. For instance, I can still take my animagus form, but I can no longer Apparate.

"I also gained a few extra vampiric powers, such as being able to compel those around me to do my wishes, memory modification… things that are possible with spells, potions, and the like. But now I can do them by simply thinking it.

"So, I work, as you say, by simply talking to people. Granted, most of the Death Eaters dislike talking to me, so I end up with little useful facts. But the small amount I do uncover I pass directly to our mutual friend."

Remus was staring at her.

"You're an animagus? What form do you take?"

She glanced at him, her impossibly black eyes unreadable. Of all the questions he could ask, she was surprised he chose that one.

"A brown bear. A Kodiak, to be specific. One of the largest species."

Remus smiled for the first time in days. Maybe he would be able to survive the full without hurting anyone after all.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus and Sariah had talked through the night. First, about how he could infiltrate closer to Voldemort, and the best ways to pass his information to the Order. With reluctance, he agreed that he would give whatever information he managed to gather to her, and she would convey it to Dumbledore.

The less contact the two of them had with the other group, the better, and he shouldn't endanger himself needlessly. She already had meeting sites and wards set up—it wouldn't be smart to risk anything further. Still, Remus fought the hitch in his chest at the knowledge that he would literally see no other friendly face but this vampire's for… an unknown amount of time. Years, maybe.

It was also decided that Remus would move to the castle—a compound-type place that was previously unknown to him. Voldemort had recently set it up, apparently feeling secure enough in his holdings that he doubted a full out attack on his followers.

Sariah had moved there a month or so ago, in an attempt to integrate herself further into Voldemort's councils. If Remus moved there as well, it would imply his total dedication, with the added bonus of allowing the two spies easier access to one another.

They also planned that Remus was to try and get closer to a few key players, to befriend them. This was something Sariah had been consistently unable to do, as even the most intimidating of the Death Eaters were fearful of her feeding from them.

The vampire ticked off a short list of wizards that were unusually talkative—ones she felt it would be best for Remus to concentrate on. Unfortunately, despite the growing numbers of followers, Voldemort's army tended to be loners. She didn't know the identity of over half the Death Eaters.

The two people learned many things about the other's personal lives, as well. Easing his mind, Sariah told Remus that werewolf blood, while not poisonous, was utterly repulsive to vampires.

"Tastes like sewage—I accidentally fed off a werewolf once and immediately threw up. One of the most disgusting experiences ever," she had imparted with a smile, her lips turning up just enough for the man to glimpse a flash of her fangs.

He also learned that she had a very strict moral code about her meals. First, she refrained from drinking for as long as possible, and hadn't killed someone since when she was first converted and unable to control herself.

Secondly, when she did eat, it was off the dregs of society—people who harmed others, abused animals, things like that. She also tended to deposit her victims, still groggy from blood loss, in compromising positions, so they would likely be arrested, and therefore off the streets.

She was the only one of her species (that she was aware of) that had also been an animagus. She felt that it was this particular ability that allowed her to maintain such strict control. She admitted to occasionally feeling the wriggling of vampiric insanity tugging on her mind, but when that happened, she changed into the bear.

"The bear, for some reason, isn't a vampire," Sariah muttered, halfway through the night. They were both reclining on his bed, sipping tea to keep awake. She had previously projected a sense of calm and emotional stability that Remus envied, but this topic of conversation made her voice quiver slightly.

"Honestly, it's what keeps me sane. I can eat things that aren't… I mean, I eat berries and roots and things like that. It's what allows me to not feed as often as some of my species. While I still need blood, I only need to feed every few weeks, as long as I find a few meals as the bear. It also allows me to be active during the day. It is refreshing to occasionally feel the sun on my skin."

Remus marveled at her incredible luck. Any vampires he had previously known were basically mindless killing machines—completely insane from the blood lust and only able to maintain a semblance of normality for brief moments of time.

"Alb—our mutual friend—" she corrected herself hastily, "was instrumental in helping me come to terms with my ailment. Without him, I don't know how I would have handled the change. I owe him a great deal."

"I do, too," Remus said softly, before telling Sariah about how the man had taken a chance with him, allowed him an education, trusted him when no one else in the wizarding world would.

"If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, I wouldn't have met my friends—wouldn't have met Sirius…" He noticed her questioning look, and clarified. "My boyfriend."

The vampire nodded and smiled tentatively at him.

"Does he know you're here? What you're doing?"

"No. He thinks… that I betrayed them and…" his face crumpled, unable to go on. He felt a cool hand softly touch his arm.

"Tell me about him, if you want. I'm here if you need me." Remus marveled at how easy it was to talk to this woman—and so he opened his mouth and the words tumbled out. Sirius as a boy at Hogwarts, their pranks, the attitude, the growing realization that they were meant for each other… changing into Sirius as the man he was now, fierce and loyal and wonderful in so many ways—helping his werewolf through everything life could throw at them.

Sniffling slightly, he met Sariah's eyes once again.

"There was one thing in particular that he did for me that I was hoping you could help me with," he said slowly. The vampire's eyes widened slightly and she opened her mouth to say something but Remus cut her off.

"No, not like that—dirty mind," he muttered, smiling at her obviously relieved expression.

So Remus told her about how his friends had protected him during their time in school—Padfoot and Prongs herding Moony away from people, keeping him in check.

"Would you be able to use the bear to… do something the same? I have to run, or Greyback will realize something's wrong. But if I hurt someone… I couldn't live with myself."

"I can do that. The bear is huge, but deceptively fast. I shouldn't have a problem controlling… Moony."

Remus smiled, extremely relieved.

They made plans for the following night. Remus would change with Greyback's pack, but Sariah would be waiting as the bear (or Teddy, as Remus had immediately dubbed her, invoking amused giggles from the woman) to separate him from the rest. She would watch over him through the night, keeping him out of trouble.

**_A/N:_**_ Eep! Poor Sirius is so sad. I promise things will start getting better for him next chapter, and we'll see a bunch more of him to boot. But Remus made a friend! Yay? See you in a couple days. :) _

_Oh, and appelsiini, thanks for the review~I almost feel bad making the boys go through so much angst... but it is fun to write. I didn't picture it quite so dark when I came up with the idea, but what works, works, right?_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Sirius finds some trouble. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, graphic violence. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ So I am not in any way an expert on the geography of England-type places, as I am American. I remembered Brecon Beacons from a Torchwood episode, and it looked like it would work for the area I wanted Sirius to be in for this chapter. If I am wildly off, please don't be offended, and let me know of a better place-I can fix things. :) Anywhoo, enjoy!_

**Chapter 4 **

Sirius was pacing his small kitchen as he watched the moon rise. This was it. Remus was out there, somewhere, losing his mind, transforming, and there was nothing he could do.

_Not that I __want__ to do anything for the…the twat_, he thought to himself, unconsciously wincing at the insult.

"Merlin, why can't I just leave it? He's a traitor! He fucking betrayed me!" Sirius slammed a fist into the wall, startling himself with his own outburst.

"Don't care if he tears himself up, don't care what he's doing, don't care if he dies, don't. fucking. CARE." He raked angry hands through his long black hair, eyes closed against his internal struggle.

He stood still for a moment, hands still gripping his head, and then made up his mind and gave in. He turned on his heel and disappeared.

**OoOoOoO**

When he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by trees. This was the nearest forest he could think of, in the middle of Brecon Beacons National Park. If there were werewolves around, it was likely they would be roaming here. He saw a smattering of lights in the distance—a town—and turned that direction, Padfoot's powerful body replacing his human one in the blink of an eye.

He sniffed the air, and sensing nothing out of the ordinary, headed toward the town.

He wasn't sure what he was looking for, really. What if Remus was out here? Would he try to goad him into a confrontation? Or fall back on old habits and simply play with his pack mate? Shaking his head in a decidedly un-doggy manner, he pushed the thought out. It would come to a head if it needed to. For now, he could be content just running in the clean air. He hadn't indulged like this in far too long.

He was busy investigating the trail of a rabbit when he caught the first scent of blood wafting through the air. He was much closer to the small town now, and when he pricked his ears, he heard a faint, quickly cut off scream. Without a second thought, he abandoned the rabbit and bolted toward the disquieting noise.

As he approached the town, it quickly became apparent that something was severely wrong. He slowed as he passed the first body, an older man. Sirius' dog visage kept him from throwing up at the horror of it—the man's arm had been chewed off and was lying a few feet away, his stomach and throat both ripped open and still weakly dripping blood.

The body was very fresh—whatever had killed this man had done so only minutes before.

Not bothering to stop—not even the best healer in the world could help this poor man—Sirius continued into the village. Most homes were shut tight, windows barred and shuttered fast, and Padfoot could smell the fear coming in waves and hear the terrified whispers emanating from behind the closed doors.

His nose led him to another body, this one lying halfway inside a doorway leading to a dark house. It was a woman, her dead eyes staring, a terrible gash running the length of her back, slicing deep enough to clearly see the broken bones beneath. Sirius could smell other bodies too, within the house, and he turned away, trying not to picture what had happened there.

His sensitive nose then picked up another smell—wild and musky, dirt and blood and anger. Werewolves, at least three of them. His mind panicked for half a second before he realized these were foreign scents. Not Remus, then.

They weren't bothering to be quiet—Sirius heard a crash from a few streets over, as one of them undoubtedly went through a window. There were growls and sharp barks, and then a triumphant short howl, followed by another scream that was quickly cut off. Sirius closed his eyes, horrified and disgusted, and tried to think of what to do.

He wouldn't stand a chance against three werewolves. They'd tear him to pieces, dog shape or no. He would need to call for help.

He checked the air around himself, trying to smell if any of them were immediately nearby. He found no sign, so he flicked back to his human form long enough to send off a Patronus to James and Frank, who were on call for the Order that night. Knowing he was infinitely more vulnerable as a human, he lost no time in switching back to Padfoot.

In the few seconds it took to send his Patronus, the town had gone terrifyingly silent. Padfoot sniffed the air, realizing that the three wolves had caught his scent. They were probably circling him in an attempt to block off his exits and force him into a trap.

Growling deep in his throat, Sirius prepared for the attack. The hair on his back stood straight up and he widened his stance, trying to make himself as large as possible. He tensed, teeth bared, and lay his ears flat on his head. Hopefully he would get his backup soon.

He had just enough time to remind himself to avoid getting bit at all costs when they attacked.

The first of the wolves sprung, jumping down on him from a nearby rooftop. It landed on his back, swiping at him with razor claws, and Padfoot rolled, narrowly avoiding a snap of teeth on his neck. The werewolf pulled back, a clump of Padfoot hair stuck in its teeth.

Sirius ignored the searing pain in his shoulder from where the wolf had landed—he had other things to concentrate on.

The first wolf was joined by a second, both of them now circling him, hair raised, teeth bared, before they attacked together, swinging wide on two sides to catch him in the middle.

He jumped as high as he could, and tried to veer sideways. He avoided being crushed between the two beasts, but one raised a vicious paw and raked him across his stomach. He fell heavily, four claw tracks soaking his fur with blood, but he barely noticed.

He snapped and tore when one of them got too close to his muzzle—Sirius was determined to inflict some damage as well. He may be outmatched, but he wasn't completely helpless. The wolf yipped and shied away, trailing blood from its front left leg.

Growling, the two started circling again, feinting in occasionally, snapping at his tail or legs, but they were more hesitant now that he had drawn blood, and seemed to be waiting for something.

Sirius realized through the haze of adrenaline that he could smell the third werewolf approaching slowly. This one's scent was vaguely familiar to him and with a jolt he realized why he knew it.

Several months ago he and Remus had been patrolling, hidden in plain sight as a man enjoying an evening walk with his dog, and had come across a scene that had burned itself into Sirius' mind.

A large wizard had been in the process of savagely gutting another late night walker, and even as Remus pulled his wand and Sirius changed back to human, the man had looked up at them, grinning. The unfortunate muggle's heart was gripped in his hand, still beating, and the monster had taken a bite.

So even though he had only smelled this particular scent for half a second while he was Padfoot and the wolf was human, Sirius knew exactly who was approaching. Fenrir Greyback.

The other two wolves moved back slightly in deference, and Greyback materialized out of the darkness. He was licking blood from his muzzle, and appeared to be grinning.

Surprisingly, the gigantic werewolf nodded his head at Sirius, mockingly challenging him to fight. Sirius gulped—Greyback had obviously taken the wolfsbane potion. He vaguely remembered Remus telling him, awhile ago, that Greyback disliked the newly developed potion "cure" because it made those who wished no one harm less dangerous. However, he liked to use it himself so he could remember the damage he had caused during the full.

All this flashed through Sirius' mind in half a second, and then suddenly, too fast for Sirius to react, the huge beast was on him. His mouth was pressed to Sirius' throat, but for some reason, the brutal werewolf was not tearing in. Too-large black eyes stared into his grey ones, and Sirius thought the growl that reverberated through Greyback's frame sounded almost like a laugh.

The other two wolves began to worry his legs, his side—anyplace they could reach with their tearing claws, but they refrained from biting. Greyback slowly tightened his jaws, also not biting, but instead crushing. Sirius' mind started to go fuzzy with lack of air.

_So this is how I die…_

Several loud cracks unexpectedly spilt the night, and Greyback's mouth tightened around Padfoot's neck for just a moment more before letting go. Stunning spells lit up the night, and one of the smaller wolves fell heavily. Its partner, along with Greyback, turned and ran from the onslaught of the six wizards that had Apparated into the small town. They disappeared into the night, but not before Greyback turned back to cast a brutal glare in Sirius' direction.

James was the first to move, stepping over the stunned werewolf and heading toward the large black dog he had immediately recognized as Sirius.

With difficulty, the form of Padfoot wavered, leaving a bruised and badly bleeding man in its wake. James hissed when the extent of Sirius' injuries became apparent, and quickly cast both a healing charm and a light spell for pain, stopping the bleeding and allowing the other man's eyes to clear a bit.

"Were you bit?" were the first words out of James' mouth.

"N-no…" Sirius said slowly, feeling his neck. "Bruised and torn up a bit, but you guys got here right in time."

James relaxed, worried expression falling from his face, and began scanning Sirius for any more injuries. Finding none, he settled on the sidewalk next to his friend.

Sirius sat up, cringing at the feel of new skin pulling tightly across his abdomen, legs, and shoulder. He looked past James, where one of the other Order members was securing the unconscious werewolf. Two of them stepped forward to transport the creature to the Ministry, and they Disapparated with another sharp crack.

The remaining three wizards spread out around the town, undoubtedly looking for survivors, casualties, to perform memory modification charms, and to generally clean up the evidence.

Sirius drew his attention away from their activities to look back at James, who was eyeing him closely.

"One of the wolves was Greyback. I recognized his scent," Sirius said flatly. "He was the one that was choking me… he seemed very in control of himself. I bet he had the wolfsbane potion."

"Leave it to that monster to use the wolf as a weapon," James snorted. "I wish we'd been faster, maybe we could have caught him."

Sirius shook his head. "Greyback is smart. It'll take an army to stop him."

There was a drawn out pause, and Sirius looked at James. The bespectacled wizard clearly wanted to say something—he opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking, until finally he forced his words out, punctuated and awkward.

"What were you doing out here? Not that I'm complaining, we caught a werewolf and… mostly… saved a muggle town, but what on earth, Sirius?"

The other man stared off into the distance, rubbing absently at his stomach where James had healed him. His best friend wasn't the strongest at healing spells—Sirius knew that he would probably end up with a few scars.

"I don't know," he finally admitted. "I had some half-idea that I might find Remus, I guess…" His voice trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to look his friend in the eye when he finally made the admission.

James sighed and sat back on his heels. He closed his eyes and rubbed a hand through his hair, his tell of frustration leaking through his otherwise calm exterior.

"Yea," he said softly, agreeing with something unspoken between the two friends. "This… this one we caught wasn't him, right? It looked smaller…"

"No, he wasn't here. I didn't get his scent at all. Maybe he's holed up somewhere safe. I hope so."

They sat in silence for a moment before James pushed himself to his feet.

"We shouldn't be thinking about him. He's gone, Sirius."

Sirius didn't respond to this. Instead, he shook his head, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no muggles were peering out their windows at the pair.

"Thanks for the rescue," he said quietly to James, and flicked back into Padfoot, running up the street in the opposite direction the werewolves had gone before his friend could say a single word.

**OoOoOoO**

He ran into the early morning. Stopping on a bare rise in the middle of nowhere, he surveyed the night sky. The moon was almost down, its lowest edge kissing the horizon. He cursed it—the stupid moon that had made it so easy for Remus to leave him. Tearing his eyes away, he moved on.

Half an hour later, his run from nowhere toward nothing was halted when he heard a forbidding growl float through the air. He moved closer, but stayed downwind—he had no interest in another fight tonight.

Before he reached the source of the growl, his sensitive ears picked up the scraping and grinding noise that signaled a werewolf transforming back to its human shape. The wolf's whimpers morphed into a man's, and Padfoot stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar voice pant out a question.

"Did…night… go well?"

Remus. Sirius couldn't believe his luck. He made to move forward, but then realized that Remus wouldn't have spoken if he was alone. He was still too far away to hear everything, so he cocked his head and strained his ears to pick out the bits of conversation that the wind brought to him.

Another voice—female—answered Remus'.

"Yes… problems separating you… ate a couple rabbits… Greyback … have run into … trouble… spells being cast… some howls."

There was silence for a moment, and Remus' voice floated out again from the thicket.

"…killed… bastards."

The female voice that responded to him was sharp.

"You shouldn't … like that… talk like a Death Eater… act like one."

The wind suddenly shifted, and Sirius heard the rest of the conversation clearly.

"I don't want to act like one."

"Are you always this petulant?"

"Just when I'm exhausted and in pain," came Remus' voice. "Let's go, we should get back to the castle."

Sirius moved closer, feeling a tightness in his chest that he couldn't explain. He stuck his nose through the undergrowth, and two figures came into view. There was the woman, with her back to Sirius, and beyond her, sitting on the ground with his head in his hands—Remus.

Sirius breathed deeply—if Padfoot could gasp, he would have. Remus looked terrible. He had huge bags under his eyes, new scars tracing his body—which Sirius' expert eye knew hadn't been caused by the monthly transformation—his hair was bedraggled and filthy, and he looked sick.

In confirmation of that, Remus let out a deep, rattling cough, before closing his eyes and almost collapsing over. But the woman moved impossibly fast to his side, catching him before his head could hit the ground.

"I'll need to be the bear," she told the man softly. "We can't get back before sunrise. I suppose you could also ride on my back, if you don't have the strength to Apparate there. We'll—" the woman suddenly broke off and peered into the bushes, directly at Sirius, who had shifted slightly, causing the faintest rustling of leaves. He stepped back when he saw black eyes and bared fangs.

_A vampire! _ He thought wildly. _Remus is being cared for by a vampire!_

"What is it?" Remus said, his voice tired and tinged slightly with worry.

The woman dropped her snarl, still keeping her eyes on Padfoot.

"Just a dog. Come on, let's go before I crisp."

Sirius watched with wide eyes as the vampire transformed into a large bear, which then gently picked up the man he couldn't help but still love, and deposited him on her back. His eyes didn't leave them as she ambled away, an already sleeping Remus curled up, face scrunched with worry and exhaustion.

Sirius watched them until he could no longer see or hear anything, and then turned and slowly walked away, emotions battling within.

He stopped, dazed, and changed back to himself, Disapparating almost in the same instant. When he reappeared in his living room, he collapsed on the couch.

His thoughts were racing. If only he'd been closer when Remus had changed back—he desperately wished he could have heard the whole conversation. Remus had seemed… unhappy, angry… not the kind of emotions Sirius would associate with rejoining the people you were supposed to be allied with.

_If Remus doesn't want to be there… but why a vampire… maybe…_Sirius' exhausted mind finished the thought with a spark of hope, even as he slipped into unconsciousness, body crumpling sideways on the couch.

_**A/N:** So Sirius is maybe in a better place, mentally? Maybe not physically (he got beat up pretty bad this chapter, sorry) but mentally, things are evening out. Yep. _


	5. Chapter 5

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Sariah and Dumbledore have a meeting, Remus has an unpleasant encounter, and Sirius does some thinking. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, graphic violence, unwilling!Remus, violent sex._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ I'm serious about the warning today-shit gets violent. Don't read it if you're easily upset._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 <strong>

"It has been three months since we last spoke, Sariah. I had hoped you would have contacted me before now." Dumbledore spoke softly into the air, not quite looking toward the side of a building where he knew the vampire was lurking.

A shadow disentangled itself from the mouth of a nearby alley, and the woman came to stand next to him, leaning against the wall near where he was seated at a muggle bus stop. Her eyes were obscured by dark glasses, but her face was fixed on a copy of the Daily Prophet, pretending to read.

"We had nothing new to report," she responded quietly. "But Remus has been able to gain the confidence of Igor Karkaroff, and the man speaks more freely than he should… after…" the woman trailed off, a look that was part pity and part disgust flitting across her pale features. "Suffice it to say that he has begun talking to Remus."

Dumbledore let her slip into silence for only a few moments before he asked what news she had brought. She hesitated for a moment, before turning to look at the older man.

"Remus has been invaluable. I wanted to thank you for providing me with support."

"It was his idea, honestly. Not that I would begrudge you any help you want, my dear."

The vampire cocked an eyebrow. "'My dear'? You're only one year older than me, Albus."

Dumbledore laughed softly. "Habit, Sariah. I spend a great deal of time with the younger generation—which you still so strongly resemble."

They fell into a somewhat awkward silence for a moment, each considering their lengthy friendship and where the world had brought them. Finally, Sariah cleared her throat, breaking the quiet and returning them to the present.

She launched into the things Remus and she had been able to ferret out—firstly, a plot against Alastor Moody, so maybe he should go into hiding. Next, the Lestranges had somehow located Kingsley's home, so meeting there would be bad, and he should leave as well. Also, the Black clan was surreptitiously pouring more money into Voldemort's pockets, providing him with safe houses and a supply of necessities for the castle that she and Remus, among others, were living in.

Recruitment was also up, with several recent graduates from Durmstrang and their families joining with the Death Eaters. Remus had, unfortunately, found that most of the established werewolf packs wanted to side with Voldemort, but here was a list of a few that were unswayed, along with several lone wolves that had not decided one way or the other—perhaps Dumbledore could send someone to meet with them?

She went on, smaller details about movements, new meeting locations, and increased power only serving to make the older wizard close his eyes in frustration. The Order's progress against this man was practically non-existent. Hearing about the forward momentum of the Death Eaters was endlessly aggravating.

"That's really all," Sariah finished. She glanced to the night sky, calculating that she had about four hours until the sun rose. She was hungry, and needed to find someone to eat. Turning back to Dumbledore, she asked if there was anything he needed her and Remus to know.

"Not particularly. Although it seems to me as if events are moving more quickly now, so I want to reiterate that you two must be exceedingly careful." The woman nodded. "I suppose there has been no movement on locating the spy within our organization?"

"Nothing definite, but it has to be someone fairly high up. The Death Eaters knew about the stakeout of the Lestranges before you were even able to get in place. We're trying, though. Remus is placed well. Karkaroff knows who it is—it should just be a matter of time."

"Thank you, my dear." Dumbledore paused, aware that she wanted to go. Still—"How are you and Remus doing? Generally speaking."

"We're fine," the woman said after some hesitation. "It's easier for me, now that there's someone to confide in. And Remus… he's mostly miserable, but he's adjusting. He's only been there for a little over three months. He misses Sirius terribly."

"Sirius misses him as well, as hard as he tries not to show it."

There was another brief moment of silence before the vampire made an excuse to leave. Her stomach was crying at her, and she didn't need the temptation of the older wizard, her friend for so long. She left in a rush of skirts and cloak, with Dumbledore watching her go sadly.

**OoOoOoO**

It had at first seemed like a stroke of good fortune when it became apparent that Igor Karkaroff was interested in Remus. The other man talked far too freely, and his bed was where the werewolf got the best, most reliable information about Voldemort's movements. But in the last few weeks, the man had been less forthcoming with details, and the violence had escalated.

Today, Igor had accosted Remus after a meeting about the soon-to-be-attack on Moody, and had dragged the unwilling man toward his rooms. Remus had successfully avoided the other man since their last encounter had left him with a badly broken arm and a severe concussion, but today he was having no such luck.

Shoving Remus into his rooms, Karkaroff locked the door with a wave of his wand, cornering Remus and Vanishing his trousers and pants to the other side of the bedroom with another quickly muttered spell.

He shoved Remus face down on the bed before the younger man could even voice a protest, and then had started immediately, growling something in his thick accent about Remus' dirty mouth, while simultaneously undoing his robes and then pushing into him with no preparation or warning.

Remus hadn't been able to hold back his scream of pain, and had been rewarded with a sharp crack to the side of his head. He bit his lip to keep from crying out again, drawing blood, and closed his eyes against the intrusion.

He ground his teeth together to keep from making noise, but he couldn't keep the tears from swelling in his eyes. He could feel himself tearing and the blood starting to flow, but Karkaroff was ignoring his distress, keeping his furious pace, and pounding into Remus with violent, short jerks.

A drop of wetness splashed on his neck, and Remus realized with disgust that the other man was drooling again. At least he never wanted to fuck face to face—count the small blessings.

Suddenly, the older man pulled viciously out, flipping Remus over and forcing himself down the werewolf's startled throat. Remus gagged at the sudden intrusion, but went to work—the faster this was over, the faster the other wizard would leave him alone.

He opened his mouth so Igor could do what he wanted, and a few ravaging thrusts later, the wizard groaned his release down Remus' throat. When he was done, Igor pushed Remus away, causing him to smash his head painfully on the headboard.

The young man groggily pushed himself to his feet. He awkwardly retrieved his trousers, wincing when he was forced to bend over to pull them on. Then he staggered to the sink, needing to wash his mouth out. He spit out a mixture of cum and blood, and was barely able to stop himself from vomiting.

The dark wizard laughed at him as Remus splashed water into his mouth, trying to get out the taste of shame and disgust. He tried to wipe away the tracks the tears had traced down his cheeks without Karkaroff noticing, but when he glanced in the mirror, he saw the other man watching him, a wicked grin on his face.

"Come here." Remus stiffened slightly, but followed the other man's orders and carefully lay back down on the bed alongside him, trying not to jostle himself too much. He'd learned the hard way that one did not disobey orders from the violent man.

"The informant's coming in next week, before we go after Moody," the wizard suddenly said conversationally, pulling Remus close to his side. Remus started, shocked with his good luck. The traitor wasn't something you could just bring up in conversation—especially not him, who still didn't have the full trust of most of the Death Eaters.

"So who this guy, anyway?" Remus said through a fake yawn, trying to act like he couldn't care in the least.

Igor grinned at him, his yellow teeth glowing at Remus in the darkened room.

"Wouldn't you like to know… but no. I'm not going to ruin the surprise. I don't think you have a reason to meet him this time, but you'll laugh when you finally cross paths. I'm sure you'll have a nice reunion."

Remus nodded, hiding his disappointment. Suddenly, Igor pulled him in for a bruising kiss, before shoving him completely off the bed. Remus landed with a thump that knocked all the breath out of his chest.

"Get out of here, wolf. I have things to do."

Remus gratefully fled.

**OoOoOoO**

Sirius was waiting for Dumbledore when the older wizard strode into his office at Hogwarts. Raising an eyebrow over his steely blue eyes, Dumbledore gestured for the fidgeting man to take a seat.

"Can I help you, Sirius?"

"I want to go undercover in Voldemort's operations." Straight to the point—Sirius wasn't here to suck up or feint around the issue. He was determined to get his way.

Dumbledore regarded him calmly, and after a long pause, shook his head.

"No, Sirius. First, no one would believe your defection. You have worked far too hard to distance yourself from your family and the Dark Arts. A sudden change of mind would not make sense to the Death Eaters. Secondly, we already have spies within the organization. It is unnecessary to further endanger any of our other members."

Sirius gaped. He had been expecting more of a conversation, not a blatant refusal.

"But—"

"No, Sirius. Now, unless there is something else, I am quite busy tonight. I will see you at the next Order meeting."

Dumbledore stood, gesturing for Sirius to leave. The young wizard left reluctantly, wishing he had a better argument to make. Before he realized it, he was standing outside the secret entrance to the Headmaster's study, with only the stone gargoyle for company.

He realized he didn't want to leave the familiar halls. It was Easter break—there were few students, and therefore no one to stop him from loitering. He wandered into the dining hall, sitting at the familiar Gryffindor table.

He closed his eyes, running his fingers over the scarred surface of the table. He had so many memories here—mostly pleasant, especially the ones involving Moony. Sometimes he could hardly believe that only a few years had passed since he was a student here.

This particular spot was where the Marauders had all pledged to fight Voldemort. It had been two days before graduation, and they had been nervous about what they were going to do with themselves after the dust had settled.

"_I know one thing for sure," James had declared. "I'm gonna do whatever I can to make sure Voldemort doesn't get any stronger." _

"_Don't say his name—he knows when people are talking about him!" Peter had hissed, a frightened expression on his face. _

_Remus had been flipping through a book of some sort, and not really paying attention to the conversation until Peter made this remark. _

"_By not saying his name, you give him more power," the werewolf had snapped. "Acting terrified leads to being terrified. Nothing gets better by just ignoring it." He slammed his book shut, turning toward the other boys. "I'll fight him too. It seems like almost nothing else matters, as long as we can stop him." _

_Sirius had loved him so much in that moment. Remus was beautiful when he was full of conviction—his eyes glowed from within, and he seemed to get taller. Even his hair shone. Sirius had been unable to restrain himself, and had surged forward, kissing the other boy fiercely. James and Peter had rolled their eyes, but Remus had smiled at him, that special smile that was reserved solely for his partner. _

"_I'll be right by your side, until the day we die," the dark haired boy had declared to his boyfriend. Remus had smiled wider, leaning in to kiss Sirius again. _

_Again rolling his eyes, and this time adding a quiet gag for good measure, James had turned to Peter. _

"_What about you, Wormtail? You gonna fight with us?"_

_Peter shrugged. "I don't really want to be on the front lines, you know—I'm not good at duels, and this whole thing…really freaks me out. Maybe I could, I duno, work at the Ministry or something. H-help the war effort behind the scenes."_

_James smiled at that, smacking the table to get the attention of the two boys across from him, who were still making gooey eyes at one another. _

"_Post-graduation," James announced grandly, "we'll all work together to defeat Voldy. I solemnly swear we'll get up to some good!" He grinned at the rest of the boys, who all broke into laughter. _

"_You're a dork, Mr. Potter," Lily had announced, sliding to sit next to James, who turned, still grinning at her._

"_Hey Lils, didn't see you there. So, you gonna fight with us, too?"_

"_Of course. You'll get yourself into too much trouble if I'm not there. All of you," she clarified, focusing specifically on Sirius, who had put on his best innocent face. _

"_I won't let you get into trouble," Remus had whispered in his ear. _

Sirius shook himself out of his memories. Had Remus been working with the Death Eaters already at that point? If not then, when? It just didn't make sense. Remus had always been one of the most dedicated—always more willing to make sacrifices for the war effort than any of the others, especially Peter.

Plus, there was that conversation he had overheard a few weeks ago, the night he fought Greyback. It hadn't made sense at all. It had sounded like Remus… didn't want to be there, didn't want to work with those people. Dumbledore had said there were already spies in the organization…

The thought threatened again at the back of Sirius' mind. It had been circling since he overheard that conversation in Brecon Beacons. Was Remus a spy? That made so much more sense than anything else…

Sirius decided it was time to start looking into this.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus was gingerly getting out of the shower when he heard the quiet knock on his door. He hoped it was Sariah—he needed a friendly face after his encounters with Karkaroff. He shuffled to the entrance, checking that it was her through the peephole, and relieved, opened the door to the now-familiar worried vampire.

Her mouth opened slightly in shock when she saw his swelling black eye, the scrapes down his back, and the bruises on his face, arms, and torso.

"I'll kill the bastard," she said softly, smoothing back Remus' hair in an unconscious motherly gesture.

"Just some help with the healing spells would suffice," Remus responded through a forced smile.

"What will happen when he goes too far, Remus? When he kills you? This is more dangerous than necessary. We should think of a way to keep you away—"

"No. I can handle myself. Besides, he told me the traitor is coming in next week. Where else would we have found that out? We should keep an eye out—someone out of place, unfamiliar. Although… he said I know them. One of my friends…" he trailed off, looking upset.

The vampire guided him to a chair and pulled out her wand, pointing it at places that needed healing.

"I saw Dumbledore tonight," she told him as she worked. "He's worried about you. He says Sirius misses you."

Remus choked back a sob. Thinking of Sirius after being with Igor was almost unbearably painful.

Black eyes met his amber ones. "Things will get better, Remus."

The werewolf nodded, even though he didn't believe her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:_**_ I am going to start out with apologizing for Remus'... uh... interactions... he participates in during this chapter. Please don't be offended, but I wanted to show some of the difficulty the poor wolf is facing. :( Also, sorry if this chapter is kinda slow-the remaining ones are much more action-packed. _

_Also, I am going to try to keep updating every few days, but I have finals for my summer classes coming up this next week, and I really should study. So, it may be a week or so until I get around to updating again-I have the next couple chapters written, but I need to edit them (heavily). Plus, I got it in my over-worked head that I needed to re-read the series, trying to make sure I get the little canon details right. I'm on the Triwizard Tournament, and ahh, good reading. Bear with me, please! :) _

_Finally, thanks bunches for the reviews-I love the feedback. _


	6. Chapter 6

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Sariah has a confrontation, Peter is a bastard, Sirius voices concerns, and Remus gets in trouble. _

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, graphic violence._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ This chapter kinda came out of nowhere, but I needed it so I could set up some events that are occurring in later chapters. This story is almost taking on a life of it's own, and I'm having some difficulty keeping it going where I want it to go. This chapter was me working out some kinks in the storyline. _

_Thanks, as always, to everyone who's reviewing. You guys make my day :) I'll try to have the next installment up in a few days. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Early July**

Sariah had been called to Remus' rooms again last night, this time to heal a cracked skull and dislocated shoulder, and she had decided that enough was enough.

"Igor, how nice to see you." The wizard drew a startled breath and tried not to jump when a cool voice spoke to him as he passed a hidden alcove of the castle. He looked wildly around for a moment before spotting the source of the voice—that unsettling vampire Voldemort liked to keep around.

Karkaroff turned to face her, smiling tightly. His otherwise calm demeanor was betrayed by the nervous way his hand went to his belt to toy with his wand.

"Can I help you, Sariah? I thought you told me that interacting with you was unnecessary."

"Ah, and there we have it," responded the woman, unfolding herself from the wall, and moving much too close to the wizard for his comfort. "I believe it has become necessary."

Leaning in even closer, she spoke softly into his ear. "Are you aware that I am acquainted with a Mr. Remus Lupin? Because I am—we work quite closely. And frankly, I have become… concerned about the state of his health of late."

Karkaroff gulped. Yes, last night he might have a gone a tad too far… had been exceptionally… forceful… but why should this vampire care about a worthless werewolf?

Her inscrutable eyes were watching him closely.

"You are wondering why I am involving myself. Well, Igor," the grin that accompanied her drawn out pronouncement of his name was entirely too white and sharp for his liking. Karkaroff wasn't able to stop the tremor that ran through his body as he unconsciously tried to sidle away from her.

"Mr. Lupin has developed a distressing pattern," the vampire continued, running her tongue lightly over her teeth. "After every interaction he has with you, he, for some reason, ends up being unable to perform his duties for several days.

"With this latest injury, he will be out of commission until the next full moon. This is… stressful for me, especially when the Dark Lord has recently put me in charge of gathering information and coordinating the movements of his wolf packs."

She moved even closer to the man, forcing him to take a backward step. Sariah smiled to herself—her vampire instincts were loving this, screaming at her to bite into the soft flesh that was so tantalizingly close… She took a stabilizing breath, not wanting to give in to this urge.

"With Remus unable to perform his duties, I am down a key player. He was negotiating the introduction of a particularly large pack into our ranks. Over twenty wolves." She paused dangerously, taking an unnecessary breath and letting Karkaroff feel her exhalation on his neck.

"You have interrupted this process."

"I-I'm… ah… I apologize. I-I didn't realize how… ah… critical he was to your, um… operations."

The vampire closed her eyes, and let her fangs trail softly along Karkaroff's jugular. He flinched, and tried to control the sudden urge to run away screaming.

"Well, now you know. And if Remus does choose to return to your bed, you are to… only be as forceful as he desires. To make myself clear—if I see much as another scrape on my wolf, you will answer to me. I assure you, Lord Voldemort will continue to make use of you—whether you serve him as a human or a vampire is your decision."

She abruptly turned and glided away, leaving a pale and trembling Igor Karkaroff behind.

**OoOoOoO**

Peter Pettigrew was scurrying through the maze of halls that made up Voldemort's castle. He hated having to come here and show his face. Hated the looks he got from Voldemort's inner circle, hated the fear he felt, hated that he had chosen the easy way out and betrayed his friends.

He wondered if Remus was staying here. Maybe they could talk, share some drinks—it could almost be like old times, without James and Sirius, of course. It wasn't like he had any other friends among the Death Eaters, and he had become an animagus for the man. Well, more like James had suggested it, and he had gone along… but still.

The werewolf probably thought he was pathetic, sneaking around and hiding from the rest Death Eaters. Remus had been brave enough to leave and openly declare his allegiance, something Peter could never do. Hell, he didn't know if Remus was even aware he also worked for Voldemort.

He'd never say anything to any of the others, but Peter still thought it strange that Remus had switched sides. Everyone here seemed to take it for granted—werewolves had been promised more rights under Voldemort, so it only made sense to align with him. But Remus had seemed so dedicated… Peter guessed that was how a real spy did it—throw yourself fully onto one side, but when the time was right, switch back. He only wished he could be that brave.

Speaking of the man—Peter glanced down into a shadowy courtyard, and spied the werewolf, curled up on a bench, book in hand. He opened his mouth to call out, but his courage failed him, and he hovered in a shadow, watching his old friend.

Remus was staring at a book, but not reading—Peter craned his neck, trying to see what the other man was looking at. It was a picture… of Sirius? He suddenly felt terrible for the werewolf. Was Remus still pining after him? It must have been hard to leave him. At least Peter didn't have a relationship to screw up by choosing one side or the other—of this is was grateful.

He made up his mind to try to find Remus the next time he came in, maybe try to offer some comfort. Maybe he could tell him what Sirius was up to. But now… now he had things to do, and he wanted to get it over with.

He turned away and scuttled into the inner recesses of the castle, not noticing when Remus looked up and caught the briefest hint of dirty flyaway hair and a rounded back.

Remus frowned at the space where the Someone had disappeared. There had been something familiar about them, something he couldn't place. But he wasn't thinking right, couldn't make connections. His head still ached.

He sighed, and looked down at the picture again. The Sirius in the snapshot was smiling at him, and as Remus smiled gently back, picture-Sirius put a hand over his heart and mouthed, "I love you." Tears clouded his eyes, and Remus forced himself to close the book. He stood unsteadily, and went to look for some breakfast.

Meanwhile, Peter was waiting nervously outside the doors leading to Voldemort's inner sanctum. He had something incredibly important to tell his Master.

He had started nervously rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet when the door swung open and he was beckoned inside by an exceedingly sour-looking Lucius Malfoy, who spared a contemptuous glare at him before exiting. Peter nervously closed the door behind him and went to kneel in front of an armchair where Voldemort was reclined.

"What is it, Wormtail? It has been an excruciatingly long night. Tell me you have something of use."

"I… bring news of a prophecy, my Lord. Given just hours ago. It-it's a bit disturbing, I thought you'd want to know…"

"Spit it out, then."

Peter pulled a scrap of parchment from his robe pocket, and unfolded it, stammering over the words he had hastily written.

"It's delivered through Sybil Trewlaney." Voldemort snorted. "But Dumbledore believes it is real," Peter quickly added. "Um, it says:

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh moon dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh moon dies…" _

Peter gulped audibly when he finished. He looked up and into his Master's face.

Years of anger and the side effects of dark magic had played a toll on the body of the man who had been Tom Riddle. He had shaved his head when his lush black hair had turned mostly grey, and his once lively eyes were hard and dark. He was slightly too thin, and his hands were twisted, like they were constantly reaching for someone's neck to strangle.

From a distance, he still looked human, but when you got too close (and those that ended up that close rarely lived to tell others of their experience) you could see something… shifting, a gentle writhing of dark magic spells, just under his skin.

It was into this terrible face that Peter Pettigrew now peered, terrified. Lord Voldemort had gone extremely still.

Peter tried to speak for a moment, and found himself unable. He took a steadying breath, and tried again.

"Two witches I know of are due in July, and I am scouring for news of any others."

"Who are they?" Voldemort's voice was low and extremely dangerous.

"A-Alice Longbottom and Lily… Potter." Peter felt sick even saying her name.

"I see. Bring me news of any other July births, Wormtail. Now, leave me."

"Y-es, m-my Lord." He turned and scurried away.

**OoOoOoO**

"Hello?" Sirius called, poking his head in Lily and James' flat. He was greeted by a wand in his eye, and a very stern and heavily pregnant Lily.

"Tell me something only you would know…"

Sirius grinned at her. "In our sixth year, you were looking for Remus to help with Transfiguration homework and walked in on him giving me head in the Room of Requirement?"

"Ugh. Thanks so much for reminding me of that wonderful memory." She lowered her wand, a slightly pained expression crossing her face at the mention of Remus. She was honestly surprised that Sirius had brought him up at all. "Come in, then. I'll fix you a cuppa."

"Ta, Lils. Is James around? I wanted to talk to both of you."

"He's finishing packing. Crazy man, planning a move when I'm about to burst…" she grumbled good-naturedly, before raising her voice. "James! Sirius is here!"

She waddled around the cramped kitchen, boiling water and fixing the tea, which she poured into three mugs, expertly fixing it to each person's taste. Two squirts of honey for her, one for James, and, well, black for Sirius.

She handed him his cup as James walked in, brushing dust off his hands onto his muggle jeans. "Hey, Sirius! How goes the good fight?"

"Better. We've had a bit of luck recently. We're getting intelligence from somewhere…"

"Certainly not from you," Lily interjected.

"The wit on this one," he said dryly. "No, actually… I wanted to talk to you two about that…" he trailed off, suddenly nervous. He'd come over here planning on talking to the Potters about his suspicions that Remus' defection hadn't been what it seemed… but what if he was seeing things that weren't there? He just so desperately wanted…

Sirius shook his head to clear it. He needed to talk to someone about this, and there was no one better than his best friends.

"Right to the point, then," he muttered, eliciting confused looks from James and Lily. "I-I think that Remus is a spy."

There was a beat of silence, and then an incredibly uncomfortable look appeared on James' face.

"Sirius… we, ah, know he's a spy. He gave the Death Eaters information about us… the Prewitts barely escaped…"

"Not a spy for the Death Eaters, you daft—" Sirius slammed his cup down on the table, causing both Potters to jump slightly. "I think he went undercover for us. I think he's the one passing us all this information we've been getting.

"It makes sense, you know? The sudden influx of actual intelligence just happened to start a month or so after Remus left. Plus, Dumbledore basically told me he has spies in with the Death Eaters, and a couple months ago I…" he paused. He hadn't told anyone he had seen Remus a few months ago in the Beacons.

"The night I fought Greyback," he said, backtracking slightly, "I ran the moors afterward. I… sort of… stumbled upon Remus right after he changed back. He was talking to… a woman… who was taking care of him, and he sounded… bad. Depressed, and angry at the Death Eaters."

James and Lily were staring at him with wide eyes and open mouths. If the conversation hadn't been so serious, Sirius would have teased them at how much they resembled one another.

"You-you saw Remus and didn't tell anyone?" Lily suddenly asked, her voice slightly shriller than usual.

"I guess I didn't really think—I mean, it wasn't that important. It's not like he said anything compromising." He glared down at his cooling tea, suddenly wishing he had never said anything.

The Potters shared a look.

"Sirius," James said slowly, "you know that we wish Remus hadn't…" he waved a hand. "done what he did… as much as you. It was a shock, truly… but there's nothing to prove that he's still… on our side. I don't want you getting your hopes up. I know you miss him…"

"Miss him?" Sirius interjected, suddenly furious. "I've loved him since we were thirteen. I think 'miss' doesn't quite capture the extent of how I feel about him. And I know him better than anyone—I'm telling you, something is not right here."

Lily suddenly reached out and grasped Sirius' hand. "If you think this, I believe you. What do you think we should we do?" She ignored the incredulous look her husband was giving her.

"I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I just wanted to see if I sounded crazy. If you think I'm not… I guess I'm going to start patrolling the Beacons on full moon nights. Try to find him."

James made an aggravated noise. "You'll be killed. Don't you remember your encounter with Greyback? If we hadn't shown up—" he made an angry abortive gesture with his hand.

"Of course I remember, Prongs. But don't you think this worth looking into? It's Remus…"

Lily nodded immediately, and James reluctantly followed suit a moment later.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus was determined to earn the respect of Greyback's pack. And with these animals, there was only one way to do that.

This was the reason that when Remus shifted back to his human form after the latest full, the first thing he did was spit out a chunk of fur, and wipe blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

Fenrir's second in command, a man named Louis, was lying dead at his feet, throat torn out. Remus growled at the rest of the pack, who were gathered around him in a loose circle, most still panting in pain from the transformation.

"Anyone else want to question me?" he ground out, through the ache of his newly-rearranged bones. "I can kill you as a human, too." No one answered him—in fact, no one looked him in the eye, except for Greyback, who approached, grinning.

"I always knew you'd amount to something, Lupin. Congratulations on your promotion."

Remus nodded stiffly, the bile rising in his throat as the full impact of what he had done swept over him. His acting was getting stronger, though, so the only reaction he showed was to turn a bloody, toothy smile on Fenrir.

"I'll celebrate with the pack tonight. Dinner and drinks, my treat. Now, I'd like to get this bastard's blood out of my mouth."

The pack laughed at that, and made happy by promises of free food and alcohol, cheered their new second in command. Remus nodded one more time to Greyback, and turned on his heel, Disapparating.

The second he materialized in his room, he threw up in a nearby bin, and then stared, aghast, as his stomach emptied itself of more fur, blood, and what looked suspiciously like a wolf's ear.

That had gone much too far. He had only meant to show he wasn't afraid of confrontation—not take over as second.

Right before the change, he had pointedly insulted Louis' lineage—the man had been a muggle before he was bitten—and while Remus had anticipated a tussle once they were changed, he never imagined that Louis would take it as an all-out power play.

They'd spent most of the night trying to kill one another, and somehow Remus had come out on top—not that he had emerged unscathed. His right arm was hanging uselessly, with muscles and bone torn and broken in his shoulder. He had also very nearly had his own throat ripped out, and he winced as he felt at the raw and bleeding area.

Those were the worst of his injuries, but by no means all of them. He was covered in countless abrasions, tears, slices, and oozing wounds. This was going to take forever to heal.

He awkwardly took up his wand with his left hand and muttered "_Expecto Patronum._" His dog-shaped Patronus—which he constantly told himself didn't look like a smaller version of Padfoot, not at all—immediately shot off, headed for Sariah. Remus badly needed help—he wouldn't be able to stay conscious long enough to perform healing spells on himself.

A few minutes later—no longer than ten, though to Remus, it felt like at least two hours had passed—there was a knock on the door, and after a brief pause during which Remus wondered if the vampire would know to come in on her own, because there was no way he was getting up from where he was puddled on the floor, the door swung open and the woman swept in.

She took in his collapsed form, and minutely shook her head, while at the same time drawing her wand.

"I take it the night went badly. Your plan to aggravate Louis worked too well?"

Remus grunted in affirmation, to sore to speak quite yet. The vampire rolled her eyes, and began to work on fixing his neck and shoulder. After about twenty minutes of silent work, she sat back on her heels and fixed Remus in her gaze.

"So what happened tonight? Not all this blood is yours…"

Remus suddenly appeared to find the pattern on the carpet was exceedingly interesting. Sariah ground her teeth.

"I told you something bad would happen. You don't need the pack's support—you need them to leave you alone! So what did you go and do?"

Remus finally looked up at her, and the anger flew from her face when she saw how miserable he was. She reached out and pulled him into her arms, mumbling apologies.

"I killed him. I didn't have a choice, he was going to kill me, and then he went for my throat and even though I took the wolfsbane I could feel the anger and I couldn't stop myself and I—" Remus broke off his rapid-fire sentence, a sob racking his body. "I killed him. Now I'm Greyback's second and I'm no better than any of them. I'm a monster."

"No, no, you're not a monster. You did what you had to…" Sariah said softly, holding the shaking man to her chest. "It's ok, I have you…"

She continued to whisper comfort to him long into the night, but privately, she mourned at the ease which he had fallen into his role as a murderer.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:_**_ Remus, what did you do? (Spoiler: It'll be ok)_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, the pups are reunited!_

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, maybe slightly graphic werewolf transformation, boy kissing? _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ Right, I'm back on track. Go team and all that... I apologize in advance for the cliffhanger. The next installment should be up in a couple days. _

_Thanks for everyone who is reviewing and adding to story alerts and whatnot :) I give you virtual chocolate frogs. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**November**

It was midnight, but the full moon illuminated the rolling hills of Brecon Beacons enough that Padfoot could see easily and clearly, despite his less-than-stellar doggy eyesight.

Sirius had begun his night, as usual, in the same thicket where he had spotted Moony several months ago. Tonight marked the eleventh full moon since Remus had disappeared from their flat, and the fifth month that Sirius had spent out, actively looking for the other man.

The first month he had spent out—July, a few nights before Harry was born—he had found Moony's scent as well, but he came across it after moonset. That had been bad a bad night—he'd found a body, torn to pieces, drenched in the smell of both Moony and Remus. There had been awful amounts of blood. But the body wasn't Remus, so… Sirius could only hope that he was ok.

Last month, he had come close. His sensitive nose had caught a whiff of the familiar musky smell of Moony, accompanied by an unfamiliar smell that Sirius had told himself was the bear animagus, but the scent had disappeared, lost when the pair had crossed a quickly-moving stream.

Sirius was determined that tonight would be it—he felt good about it. He was going to find Remus.

Over the past several months, information had simply flowed to the Order of the Phoenix from Voldemort's camp. There hadn't been a single surprise attack in weeks, they had successfully raided four Death Eater safe houses, had arrested dozens of sympathizers, (including Sirius' father, much to the young wizard's delight) and had forced some of the more powerful higher-ups in the organization into hiding.

The more Sirius thought about it, the more sense it made to him that Remus was the one providing the information. When Remus had disappeared, they had been floundering, never knowing from what direction attacks would come, but now… Since the werewolf had "joined" the ranks, the Order couldn't be doing better. The coincidence was just too great. So far, he'd still only voiced his doubts to James and Lily, but he was more and more sure as the days went by.

But Sirius had to be positive, which was why he had devoted his full moons to searching for his Moony. He turned his nose to sample the breeze, and encouraged, ran into the night.

**OoOoOoO**

"Th-the Potters? They had their baby... a boy, named him Harry," Peter stammered from his kneeling position in front of the Dark Lord. Black eyes drilled into his dirty blonde hair, as the traitor couldn't bring himself to meet his master's eyes. "They're not fighting against you now or anything. They went into hiding this summer. I only ever see them when we meet in public—they don't come to Order meetings anymore. They seem to want to be left alone…"

"So it was a July birth, then?" Voldemort mused, ignoring Peter's feeble protests. Eyes downcast, Peter nodded. "Very well. You will tell me where they are. I need to deal with this, soon. I do not need loose ends." The words were spoken calmly, but the traitor cringed backward as if he'd been slapped. More than anything, he wished he had never told Voldemort about this stupid prophecy… maybe then his friend's son would have been allowed to live.

He closed his eyes and sunk even lower toward the ground. "I-I don't know where the Potters are right now. They were staying with Dearborn, but he… he disappeared, so they left. They were looking for a house, now that they have a baby… I'm sorry I don't know more…"

Voldemort sneered. "You are useless, filth. If you return again with no relevant information, I will give you to Bellatrix. To play with. Would you like that?"

The man risked a glance toward the witch, who was standing slightly behind Voldemort's chair, her hand toying with her wand. She grinned back at him when she saw the look—her mouth entirely too full of teeth.

"No! I mean, please… I'll try harder, I'll find something."

"Bring me the location of the Potters. Soon, or you will find yourself with more troubles than you would care to deal with."

"Y-yes, my Lord. Thank you."

The man scuffled backwards, still on his knees, before awkwardly getting to his feet and running from the room. Once in the hall, he paused to catch his breath, before turning and coming face to face with jet black eyes and pale skin. Unable to stop the noise, a whimper of pure fear tore itself from his throat, and he ducked around the vampire, again running, more terrified than ever of what he had gotten himself into.

Sariah watched the unknown man's back as he bolted. The past months had been good for her, information-wise, and she now knew the identities of the majority of the Death Eaters and their underlings. Granted, getting that close to the inner circle had required her to spill more blood than she found appealing, and she now had a brand burned into her arm, but it was worth it for the information she was able to gather.

It had become rare for her to at least not recognize someone who frequented the compound. She would ask Remus about him later.

For now, she slid into the room he had recently vacated and met Voldemort's eyes with her own, not even bothering to spare a snarl for the witch who had deposited herself in the powerful wizard's lap as soon as the traitor had fled.

"You wanted to see me, my Lord?"

"Yes," he replied, now occupied with raking a claw-like hand through Bellatrix's hair. "I have a job for you. Something you should find enjoyable. The Black outcast, Sirius, has been spotted patrolling our werewolves' running grounds. I would like you to catch him and bring him here. When we are done with him, I will give him to you as a reward."

"Of course. May I ask what condition he should be in when he arrives?" she asked, her face carefully blank.

"Alive, and able to speak. I have some questions for him."

"Thank you, Lord," Sariah smiled tightly at him, curtsied, and turned to leave. The sound of Bellatrix's giggles followed her into the hallway. Once there, the smile fell immediately from her face, replaced with a slight frown. Remus wasn't going to like this.

**OoOoOoO**

Padfoot was running all out now, nose to the ground. He had found it—Remus' scent. Not Moony, but Remus, the delightful familiar smell—parchments and elm and earthiness and something that was almost peppermint and it was Remus! And Padfoot was panting with excitement, not watching where he was going and so ran straight into the house, smashing his nose.

He had wandered for most of the night, and the moon was close to setting. He quickly changed back to Sirius again, using his wand to search for booby-traps, locking spells, anything really. The house was swimming with heavy magic, mostly concentrating on keeping non-magic people away. The deterring spells were numerous, but they wouldn't prove an issue for Sirius.

After casting the necessary spells so he wouldn't have to be human to get inside—it would be unwise to face a werewolf as a human—he changed back to Padfoot, nosed open a door and slipped inside.

He was immediately assailed with the smell of werewolf. There were multiple wolves, but they were older. The only fresh scent was Moony. _Mine_, Padfoot murmured, deep in Sirius' mind, recognizing the familiar aroma. He moved slowly through the rooms, heading upstairs, and he found the source of the intoxicating scent with ease.

Moony was sitting on his haunches in what had once been a bedroom, methodically using his powerful claws to tear a hole in the floorboards. He was surrounded by bits of debris, splinters of wood, insulation, even the odd iron fastening and nail. Padfoot couldn't be sure, but the wolf looked… bored?

Padfoot paused in the doorway, and the wolf looked sharply up when he caught the scent of the other canine. Their eyes met, grey against amber, and Padfoot smiled a happy dog grin, his quarry of many months finally found.

The wolf simply continued staring at him, and Sirius realized that it was acting decidedly un-wolfish. The thought suddenly occurred to him that Remus must have been able to get his hands on some of the wolfsbane potion. So, taking a risk, he took a deep breath and transformed back into himself.

He steeled himself to quickly shift back to Padfoot, or to grab his wand and stun the wolf, but the last reaction he expected was for Moony to whine and retreat to a corner of the room, shaking his head back and forth in a very human gesture.

"Remus…"

Sirius glanced out the window—they had a few minutes left of the full at most.

"Right," he continued to his captive audience. "You can't stop me from talking, so that's what I'm gonna do. I don't believe you're a traitor, Remus. I can't. I've been looking for you… for months… and now I've found you. I want to see you. There's nothing you can do or say to stop me." He crossed his arms, glaring at the wolf who was now cowering in the corner.

Moony lay down, looking like he was trying to sink into the floor. He covered his nose with one paw, and wouldn't meet Sirius' eyes.

Face softening, Sirius moved forward and sank down on the ground next to the wolf. He laced his fingers in the ruff at Moony's neck. The wolf uttered a soft whine and placed his muzzle on Sirius' lap. Sirius stroked his fur gently, and Remus tentatively looked up. He licked Sirius' hand.

"I miss you, Remus. So much…" Remus responded with another whine.

Suddenly the light changed minutely, and the wolf tensed, his whine escalating. He rose to his feet and moved slightly away from the wizard, who was still sitting on the ground. Sirius cringed, knowing what was coming next.

He'd watched Remus change more times than he could count, but it never got any easier. The pain, starting as the cry of an animal and morphing into the sobs of a man… the snapping bones, the blood. Claws retracted, fur was sucked into his body. Skin ripped and re-grew, the muzzle shrank and teeth rearranged. It was terrible.

Gasping, Remus, human once again, turned to look at Sirius, as if he was reaffirming the other man wasn't a hallucination, before he collapsed and passed out.

**OoOoOoO**

When he came to, surely only a minute or two later, Remus found himself covered in a dingy moth-eaten blanket, being watched carefully by a pair of familiar grey eyes. Groaning, he pulled the blanket over his head, trying to avoid the other man's penetrating glare.

"We're going to talk, dammit," Sirius said sharply, pulling the blanket from Remus' face. The werewolf sighed.

"How did you find me, Padfoot?"

Sirius shook his head. "Dumb question. I'd search the world for you."

Remus finally met Sirius' eyes, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"You sappy poof."

"Only for you, Moony."

The two men stared at one another in silence, long moments dragging out, before Sirius swooped down and pressed his lips firmly into Remus'. The other man reached up and threaded his fingers through silky black hair, pulling himself further into the kiss.

They clung desperately to one another, until the need to air forced them to break apart. Even then, they refused to let go, their hands cupping the back of the other's head, pressing their foreheads together.

"You know what I think?" Sirius whispered softly, his voice hoarse and trembling slightly. Remus hummed inquiringly, not opening his eyes or moving in the slightest.

"I think that you're a spy for the Order. You of all people wouldn't—"

Remus had tensed at the word 'spy' and now he pulled back from the other man, fingers going to play with the thin blanket that covered him.

"I-I don't know w-what—"

Sirius' eyes narrowed and he drew himself up, crossing his arms.

"Don't play with me, Remus. I know you—you may be able to fool everyone else, but it's me! You can't lie to me, I just…" suddenly the anger and self-righteousness crumpled from his face, leaving only hurt and a hint of fear.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you just leave? I mourned for you, I hated you! You made me doubt everything that we were. My… my whole life was you, and you deserted me. How could you do this?" Remus had remained silent throughout, the only sign that he was listening being the cringes he couldn't hide at the accusations and confessions Sirius was throwing at him.

"Merlin, Remus! Say something! At least look at me…" Sirius trailed off and looked away, his vision blurry with tears.

Remus shuffled to the side, carefully avoiding touching the other man. Standing stiffly, he walked out the room, and Sirius heard him rummaging through what sounded like a hall closet. The werewolf reemerged wearing trousers and a shirt, and had a cloak draped over one arm, shoes held in hand.

"Why are you here, Sirius?" he said softly.

"I was looking for you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I gathered that. Why were you looking for me? I'm a Death Eater, remember? I…I tried to kill you, I sided with Voldemort? "

"No, you're not—no you didn't. That fight… the one in Diagon Alley? You're an excellent dueler. I know you were aiming high on purpose. And that's the only time you've been seen with other Death Eaters. Plus, I've had… hints. Dumbledore told me that the Order has spies with Voldemort, and you make the most sense. You couldn't be something like… like this without me knowing."

"I could have just been a very good spy. I've been gone a year. I'm different now. I rule alongside Greyback. That's awfully deep to go if I was just undercover."

Sirius blanched. "Greyback? You… you're his new second? We knew his old one was killed…" he shook his head and growled in frustration. "You know, you don't need to do this! I know you're lying, Moony! Maybe not about Greyback, but about agreeing with Voldemort, about being a Death Eater. I just don't know why you're doing it. Why lie to me? Don't you trust me?" Sirius rose from the ground, flinging his arms in the air in aggravation.

Remus hung his head and leaned against the wall. Sirius watched him closely—the werewolf's eyes were closed tightly, like he was trying to rationalize saying anything. Finally, after minutes of internal struggle, he raised his head and amber eyes settled on grey ones.

"I've missed you. So much, I can't even… I think about you every day. And you found me…" he raised his head. "I do trust you, Sirius. But I'm here now, I can't just explain everything—it would take too long. We don't have the time.

"But fine. You're right," he continued, gathering steam. "I'm spying. And I'm close to finding out who the traitor in the Order is… a few more weeks at most. I've been told I can meet him soon. And Fenrir trusts me implicitly. As terrible as it was to get to where I am in the pack, I'm important to him—I've made it hard for him to function without me. Plus, Igor Karkaroff tells me most everything now. He knows who the real traitor is. I just need a little more time."

"Why does Karkaroff tell you things?" Sirius asked, again crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. Remus suddenly looked nervous again.

"I-I'm, um. Sleeping… with him…"

"What! That's disgusting!"

"Believe, me I know."

Sirius opened his mouth to say more, but suddenly from downstairs both men heard a crashing, accompanied by raucous laughter and the sound of several voices.

"Oh Merlin, Sirius, its Greyback. I'm so sorry, I lost track of time, I can't break cover—I'm too close…" Remus pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at Sirius, who was trying to Apparate away.

"Remus, I can't Apparate! What's going on?"

"I know, I'm so sorry…there's wards against it in this house." Remus steeled his face into a sneer just as Greyback and four other people bounded into the room, stopping in surprise when they saw Sirius.

In a blur, wands were pulled, and Sirius suddenly found himself staring down six seemingly furious werewolves.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Sirius and Remus have a serious talk + some sexytimes_

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, boyxboy sexing_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ So I don't think that there is any reason that people who are werewolves would be magical at any other time of the month. Sure, some are wizards, but I would guess that most aren't. So there's that. For the purpose of this, I'm saying Remus, Fenrir Greyback, and maybe one or two others in the pack are wizards. The rest are muggles. _

_Anywhoo, we're nearing the home stretch. There should be two or three chapters after this one. And as always, comments and reviews are love, and thanks for reading :) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Sirius was lying on the ground, body locked with a _Petrificus Totalus_ curse. The werewolves that had surprised him and Remus minutes before were standing over him in a loose circle, minus Fenrir and Remus, who were off the side, arguing loudly.

"What the fuck were you doing with him?" the larger man harshly asked Remus, accentuating the question with a sharp shove of the shoulder.

"He followed me, I guess. He showed up right when I was getting dressed—I didn't have a chance to do anything else."

"And what were you doing back here already? We were supposed to meet after moonset, not before."

"I took wolfsbane. I have things to do later tonight—I couldn't be tearing myself up."

"What kind of things?" Greyback asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Things with that vampire, Fenrir. On Voldemort's orders and you know I can't tell what he said. A-and! I thought you trusted me, I've proved myself to you. Fine way to treat me, after everything I've done for you—" Remus threw his hands up, snarling and furious.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Remus," Fenrir sighed. "You know I trust you. It's just—he's your ex, right? This doesn't look great…"

"Oh, like I give a fuck about him. If he mattered to me, I wouldn't have left him."

"Yea… Well, you caught him," Fenrir said, grinning toothily down at the prone figure on the floor. "The notorious Sirius Black. Let's bring him back to the castle."

The other werewolves bodily hauled Sirius off the ground before Remus shouldered them aside and levitated him so that he was hanging upside down in midair. The wolves took a moment to laugh at him while the blood ran to his face, and then they traipsed into the hall to retrieve their clothes.

Remus was left alone in the room with Sirius. As soon as the rest of the pack was gone, Remus crouched down next to the him and mouthed, _Play along. I'll think of something. _He didn't risk turning Sirius right side up.

When the rest of the now-clothed pack wandered back into the room, Remus grinned at them from his position by Sirius' head. He placed a surprisingly tender hand on Sirius' face, lulling the wizard into a brief sense of security, which he promptly shattered by suddenly pulling back and punching him square across the nose.

Sirius gasped as blood poured into his eyes, but at the same time he vaguely realized that Remus had pulled his punch. Hopefully this display of aggression would quell any lasting suspicion of Greyback's that Remus had been lying to him.

"Hey, I want a shot!" exclaimed one of the other wolves, a particularly grungy and skinny specimen. "This fucker bit my leg months ago—it hurt for weeks." He leered at Sirius, who closed his eyes. _Of __course__ that one would be here. Now he wants revenge…_

The rest of the pack began to close in, but Remus suddenly growled, moving in front of Sirius.

"Stay the fuck away—that's an order. Any harm that comes to him comes by my hand. I put up with shit from him for years. I deserve some payback." He turned to Sirius, a slightly maniacal grin on his face, and the other man felt an actual fluttering of fear.

"Yes, sir," grumbled the wolf that had spoken, looking extremely dejected.

_Giving orders, having them call him 'sir'? _Sirius thought wildly. _He __is__ in charge of these lunatics._

Greyback laughed. "Good dog, Remus. Let's see some, then."

Remus blinked, surprised, and then slowly pulled out his wand and turned to Sirius. Before he could raise it, though, the rest of the wolves turned and faced someone who had suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"What's going on here, Greyback, Lupin?" came a deceptively flat and calm voice. Sirius couldn't see anything but feet and a long skirt, but he recognized the voice as belonging to the vampire he had seen caring for Remus all those months ago.

"Heh… nothing much, sweetness. Lupin caught himself a puppy. We're gonna play a bit." Greyback had turned to greet the woman, but Sirius thought his cocky grin was tinged with nerves, if that was possible.

The vampire surveyed the pack, and allowed a sneer to grow on her face. It was a practiced gesture, one that clearly showed off her sharp white fangs.

"Why don't you take your pack and go, Fenrir." She raised a hand, cutting him off before he could speak. "Not a request. Lord Voldemort asked that I be the one to bring Black in." Greyback again opened his mouth to argue, and then with another look at her bared fangs, he thought better of it. He was a powerful man, but in his human form he was still not even close to a match for a vampire.

"Fine. Let's go, everyone," he growled begrudgingly.

The pack turned to leave. Remus desperately shot a glance at the vampire and mouthed, _please,_ to which she nodded minutely.

"Lupin, stay. Our Lord asked me to pass on a mission for you to complete today." Remus nodded, looking relieved, and turned back into the room. The rest of the werewolves left without another word.

Remus went to the window, looking out, and as soon as he saw the pack Disapparate, the magical ones helping those who were muggles at any other time of month, he turned to Sirius, quickly freeing him and easing him onto the ground.

"Right," the vampire muttered, as Remus healed Sirius' nose. "This is going to be difficult."

"You could just let me go… say I overpowered you or something?" Sirius mumbled, rubbing his nose and sending a halfhearted glare at Remus, who winced and looked apologetic.

The vampire snorted in derision. "No one would believe that a human, even one as… determined… as you, could evade me. We have three hours left of darkness, and could be at the castle in less than two. I let you go, I break my cover."

Sirius glanced up at her, confused. "Cover? I thought you were just… friends, or something…"

She looked at him, one of her eyebrows cocked slightly. "Don't be dense, Black. Why would I help you if I was just friends with Remus? We work for the Order. And you easily could have ruined everything that we've worked for, because you rushed into a confrontation with your boyfriend that you didn't even think through—" her voice was steadily rising, anger marring her pale features.

"Stop it, Sariah." Remus had been silent up to this point, but now he stood, moving in between the vampire and Sirius. "Why don't you… go get something to eat. I'll talk to Sirius. Meet us back here in 45 minutes or so." He placed a hand on her arm, beseechingly. "Please? Just give us some time."

She sighed in what was either frustration or resignment, Sirius couldn't really tell, and then turned and stalked out of the room.

But then Remus just stared blankly at the doorway, even after she had gone, making no move to turn to talk to the other man. Finally, the silence drawing out longer than Sirius could bear, he cleared his throat and stood up, brushing dust from his robes.

"So… you're Greyback's second in command?"

"Yea."

"How'd that—"

"Don't want to talk about it."

"And Karkaroff?"

"Really don't want to talk about that."

The silence descended again. Finally Sirius huffed, annoyed, and stepped forward, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder.

"Talk to me, Remus. What are we going to do?"

"I'll tell you what we're going to do. You're going to be taken to Voldemort's castle, tortured, and probably killed. I will carry on as usual—growl and intimidate the pack, and fuck Karkaroff, and be miserable. And if you don't go, Sariah and I will be outed—no one will believe us if we say you've escaped—and then they'll kill us as well, and all this time undercover will have been for nothing. And we were so close to finding the real traitor, too…" he trailed off, still not turning to look at Sirius.

"I-I'm sorry. I kinda royally fucked things up, huh?" Remus nodded, still not looking at Sirius.

"But… I thought you would have, I don't know, been at least a little but happy to see me? To know I didn't believe that you betrayed us?" Sirius couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

He watched as his werewolf's shoulders slumped, and then suddenly Remus turned round. Sirius was shocked to see tears running down his face.

"I am happy to see you—do you have any idea how much I've missed you? Your face, your eyes, your mouth, your ears, your hair, everything, Sirius, everything…" Remus' hands reached tentatively to trace Sirius' body. "Merlin, every day without you has been worse than all the moons of my life put together."

Sirius drew a hitching breath, and pulled Remus close until their bodies were flush with one another. "I've been nothing without you, Moony," he whispered into the other man's ear.

"We'll run," Remus returned, breathing his words into Sirius' throat. "I don't care about this mission anymore, I can't see you hurt."

Sirius moved back enough so he could look into the other man's eyes. After a moment of silent contemplation, he slowly shook his head.

"No. You and the vampire bird—"

"Sariah."

"Whatever. You should take me in. You could talk to James or something. Get a rescue. Keep your cover. You said you were close to finding the traitor? Knowing who it is could—could stop. All of this. We could win the war."

Remus' eyes had been growing wider through Sirius' speech, and he was shaking his head violently.

"They'll kill you, Padfoot. I can't condone any actions that could lead to that."

"But you could condone leaving me," Sirius snapped, his hands dropping from Remus' waist. Remus shook his head again.

"That was different—you weren't in danger—"

"Bullshit. I lost it when you left. I purposefully put myself into worse danger than we're talking about here. I got into an actual fistfight with Goyle. Then I took on four Death Eaters at the same time, ended up in St. Mungo's for weeks, after that one. I walked into my parent's house and hexed my father into the ground. Oh yea, and Bellatrix basically skinned me alive, once. "

"You'd be trapped," Remus countered, trying to ignore the mental images that were conjured with the brief tales of Sirius' exploits from their time apart. "There are a lot of subordinates at the castle, plus actual Death Eaters, Voldemort's most loyal—it would take… an army to get you out."

"Luckily, we belong to this little thing called the Order of the Phoenix." Sirius smiled at Remus, a hint of cockiness returning to his face. "We've grown since you left. Do you think twenty or so highly trained wizards would be enough?"

"…Maybe…"

"Then it's settled," Sirius said firmly. "I'm your prisoner—but I'll get rescued, and everything will be fine. Now—before your vampire wetnurse comes back…" He reached up, drawing Remus into a searing kiss.

Remus groaned into his mouth, trying half heartedly for a moment to stop the other man. At Sirius' persistent tongue, however, he quickly folded, allowing their kiss to deepen.

Sirius took the lead, his hands moving over a body he hadn't felt in far too long, tracing the still-familiar curves and relishing in the heat radiating from Remus' frame. He unzipped the trousers Remus had hastily thrown on earlier, and was pleased to find that the other man hadn't slipped into boxers first.

The dark haired wizard spun his lover so Remus' back was pinned to the wall, even as he slid a loose hand around Remus' throbbing cock. The werewolf arched into his touch, throwing his head back to thump on the dirty wall. Sirius took this as a chance to pepper kisses down the other man's newly exposed throat.

Remus fumbled at the front of Sirius' robes, fingers clumsy with arousal, but finally succeeded in pulling clasps apart and unzipping trousers so he could reach inside, his hand closing around Sirius' erection.

Sirius moaned as he felt Remus' fingers tighten and begin to pump in time with his own thrusts. A year since they had felt each other like this—they could never be apart that long again, Sirius silently promised himself.

Sirius removed his hand, and Remus' whimper of loss turned into a growl of lust when Sirius dropped to his knees, pushing the werewolf's pants lower so he could get better access. With no hesitation, Sirius took Remus' entire length down his throat.

"Oh, Merlin, Siri… I… nngh…" Sirius smiled around the cock in his mouth, the warmth of hearing Remus' stuttered exclamations almost as good as feeling the other man's physical heat.

He sucked softly, bobbing his head and hollowing his cheeks as he slid messily off the other man's tip. Remus threaded his fingers in silky black hair, and thrust his hips forward slightly, missing the heat of Sirius' mouth.

The pressure in his groin was getting painful, so Sirius took himself in hand at the same moment he lunged forward to take Remus' shaft once again. He licked a stripe along the vein at the bottom, twirled his tongue around the head, and then moved forward, deep throating Remus.

"I-I'm… gonna…" Remus forced out, and Sirius nodded minutely, his only other reaction being to force Remus even deeper down his throat.

"Ahhh…" Remus moaned, his balls drawing up and feeling his heat explode into Sirius' waiting mouth. The dark haired wizard swallowed everything Remus had for him, and two harsh thrusts later, he was erupting over his own hand.

Sirius sat down heavily, trying to catch his breath, and he watched, bemused, as Remus slid down the wall to land next to him. The werewolf's eyes were closed, he was panting, and he had a huge grin plastered across his face.

After a moment for the two of them to catch their breath, Remus reached out to Sirius' hand, pulling it to his mouth and slowly licking off every drop of Sirius' cum. Sirius felt his cock twitch again at this contact, but Remus, noticing, shook his head regretfully.

"We don't have time. Sariah will be back soon."

Trying not to think about what it meant for him when the vampire did return, Sirius pulled Remus closer and rested his head on the werewolf's chest.

"I love you. More than the whole world," he whispered.

"I love you too, Padfoot. I could never not love you."

Both men closed their eyes, squeezing the other tight, never wanting to let go. Both had had a terrible, long night, and so it was no surprise that they fell into a fitful sleep, arms wrapped around each other as if they were trying to become one person.

**OoOoOoO**

"Wake up."

Remus and Sirius blearily opened their eyes, Remus smiling slightly and Sirius jumping when they were met by the jet black orbs of a very concerned vampire.

"I'm sorry, but what are we doing? We've an hour and fifty minutes until the sun rises. I wanted to let you sleep, but…" she flapped her hand in a nervous gesture.

The two men reluctantly separated from their tight hold on the other, but Sirius grabbed for Remus' hand, refusing to lose contact altogether. Remus smiled at him before turning to address Sariah.

"Sirius… is going to go back to the castle with you. I'm going to go talk to James so we can arrange a rescue. That way we don't break cover and Sirius will…" he trailed off, looking upset.

"Be fine," Sirius completed. Sariah looked carefully at him.

"They'll torture you. You could die."

"That's why Moony's going to get help quickly. Hopefully I'll only be there for a day or so, right? And they won't kill me in that short of time." Remus nodded reluctantly in agreement.

"Alright," the vampire said slowly. "Well, we need to go."

The three people walked slowly outside, Sariah leading, with Remus and Sirius trailing behind her, their hands still clasped, heads together, going over last minute preparations.

"James and Lily live in Godric's Hollow now… you've been there, right?" Sirius asked Remus, who nodded. "They had a baby," he added as an afterthought. "A boy, Harry. I'm his godfather."

"What? That's wonderful! I've missed… a lot..." Remus suddenly looked nervous. "James will talk to me, right? He won't just kill me on sight?"

"No, he had almost as hard a time accepting your… defection… as I did. Plus, I've talked to him and Lily about my doubts that you really betrayed us. He'll hear you out." Remus nodded, hoping that Sirius was right.

"Well this is it," he said softly as they stepped outside the area that prevented Apparition. "Sirius…"

"Don't even say it. I'll see you soon. I love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Padfoot."

They kissed gently, and then Remus stepped back, turning on the spot and disappearing with a crack.

Sirius stared for a moment at the empty air where Remus had stood, and then turned to Sariah.

"Let's do this." The vampire nodded, and the two turned to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, well, lots of shit goes down. Beginning of the end?_

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, violence_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ This chapter was a doozy... I still had about five or six other things I wanted to happen, but it ran waaaaay too long. So this fic has been extended once again. There are lots (and lots) of scene breaks this time-but lots of stuff is happening at once. So yep. Enjoy, and reviews are love!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

The castle that Voldemort had made his base had swum into sight from the darkness of the early hours of the morning. Sirius and Sariah stood, looking at it. Sirius gulped, trying not to show his fear at what they were about to do.

"I'm sorry to have to do this," Sariah said flatly, letting Sirius prepare for the pain that was coming. A moment later, her hand flashed out, lightning fast, and rebroke his nose. He let out a slight whimper, and didn't bother cleaning his face when the blood started to flow.

"S'ok," he said nasally. "Keep going." The vampire winced and took a deep breath, but then hit him over the head. Everything went black.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus appeared with a crack in a dim alley on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow. Sirius had told him about where the Potter's house was located, and he found it with relative ease, only needing to walk for about five minutes.

He hesitated for a moment before striding to the door and knocking briskly. He stepped back, put his hands in the air to show he was unarmed, and waited for someone to answer.

A minute later, he heard shuffling from inside the house, and then James flung open the door, his glasses crooked, his hair messier than usual, and his wand drawn and pointed at Remus' forehead. He drew a sharp breath when he saw who his early morning visitor was.

"Please, James, we need to talk."

"Fuck you." James' eyes darted past Remus, trying to see into shadows.

"It's about Sirius—he's in danger. Please. Listen to me for five minutes."

James' eye narrowed a bit at that, and his wand wavered a bit. He continued to peer into the darkness behind Remus.

"James. If I'd come with Death Eaters, you'd have been attacked by now. Please, just talk to me."

"What's this about Sirius?" James finally said, again looking at Remus, still not lowering his wand.

"He's been captured." Remus spoke quickly, wanting to get everything out before James could have a chance to cut him off. "He was… looking for me and he was captured. He's being taken back to Voldemort's base right now. You need to gather the Order and rescue him. I can tell you where the castle is located, who will be there, what defenses they have… whatever. Just please rescue him. I can't do it without…"

Remus paused, weighing his options. He believed that Sirius wasn't the traitor, and Sirius trusted James. He was just going to have to take a risk and trust James, too.

"without breaking cover," he finished shakily. James eyes widened at this.

"You're spying. Sirius was right! He knew you couldn't have… you wouldn't!" He dropped his wand arm and clapped Remus on the shoulder, slightly awkwardly. "I'm… sorry I thought…"

"You only thought what I wanted you to think, Prongs."

James pulled back, smile falling from his face. "Right. I'll call the Order to a meet. You can explain to everyone…"

"No!" Remus exclaimed, eyes wide. "James, the reason I didn't tell anyone—well besides Dumbledore—that I'm undercover is because of the traitor. I still have no idea who it is. No one else can know I was here."

James frowned slightly, but nodded. "All right, I guess. Except Lily, I'll wake her up." Remus nodded slowly—he knew James wouldn't budge on this.

"Give me whatever details and then we can pass them on," the bespectacled wizard said.

**OoOoOoO**

Sariah was dragging an unconscious Sirius by one leg. She had a bored expression on her face, and ignored most exclamations from the wizards she passed as she made her way to Voldemort's inner sanctum.

"Wait! Sariah, wait!"

Recognizing the young voice, she turned, causing Sirius' head to thump into the wall. The wizard that had stopped her cringed when he saw a fresh wound open on the unconscious man's forehead.

"That's— why's he here?" he asked breathlessly.

"Lord Voldemort wanted me to bring him in."

"But—but—" The young man's mouth worked silently. Finally, he let out a shaky sob. "They're gonna… kill him… aren't they?"

"Probably. I don't know."

The dark haired wizard that so closely resembled the one lying on the ground whimpered slightly. Sariah sighed softly, taking pity on him.

"Look, I'm sorry. But I have orders," she said gently. The vampire glanced around to make sure no one was listening, and then laid a cool hand on the other man's arm. "Listen, Regulus. You should… stay out of the way today. Things might get ugly."

He numbly nodded his assent, and then watched silently as she turned and continued on her way, dragging his brother behind her.

**OoOoOoO**

"I'm glad this didn't happen tomorrow, Remus," James said, placing a steaming cup of tea in front of the other man. "There's been a prophecy that… well. Dumbledore thinks it would be best if Lily and Harry and I went deeper into hiding. We were going to do the Fidelius Charm tonight, with Sirius as the Secret Keeper, but we couldn't find him. So we're doing it tomorrow—or rather, later this morning—instead, with Peter standing in. It's brilliant, really. He's the last person the Death Eaters would expect to be a Secret Keeper."

Remus nodded in bemused agreement, and then questioningly asked, "Prophecy?"

"Dumbledore thinks that it's either Harry or the Longbottom's son that it revolves around. It talks about someone that can defeat Voldemort. It's funny, really... My son, the conquering hero…"

Remus filed this information away to tell Sariah later.

"Right, here comes Lily. Start talking, Remus. We don't have a lot of time, right?"

"All right," the other man said, smiling at Lily as she slid to take a seat at the table.

"I'm happy Sirius was right, Remus. It's good to see you. I wish it was under better circumstances…" Lily smiled tightly.

"Yes, well… The castle is laid out like this…" Remus began, conjuring a sheet of parchment and starting to sketch.

**OoOoOoO**

"My Lord," Sariah bowed, and in the same movement, dumped a now groggily awake Sirius at Voldemort's feet.

"Excellent. Was he difficult to catch?"

"No," the vampire laughed. "He was chasing after Lupin. The fool's still lovesick, after all this time."

"Idiot." Voldemort raised his wand, levitating Sirius to his eye level. "You are involved deeply with the Order of the Phoenix, Black. So, you will be telling me about… various activities you have been involved in."

Sirius blinked, and then spit in Voldemort's face.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus was standing in the Potters front yard as the sun rose. He was leaning against the fence, exhausted, trying to fill them in on last minute details.

"Remember, he'll likely be in the dungeons. But the entrance is booby-trapped—you have the spell to get past, right? I gave it to you? And you know where the dementors are stationed—you have to stay away from them… and you should wait until nightfall. People will be either going to sleep, or gone on whatever missions…and Sariah can be of use."

"Yes, Rem," Lily said soothingly. "We have everything. Now, you should go. James sent off the Patronus to gather everyone here already. They'll start showing up soon."

"Good. I'll help where I can—please try not to kill me or Sariah in this rescue. Hopefully we'll be able to see you soon." He looked beseechingly at the couple. "Please be careful."

"Likewise, Moony." James helped the werewolf straighten up. Remus nodded gratefully, then turned on the spot and disappeared.

Not two minutes later, Dumbledore Apparated onto the sidewalk that ran past their house.

"James!" he called. "Is everything proceeding?"

"You're the first to arrive—" James was cut off as two more cracks split the early morning air. Moody and Kingsley joined them in the front yard.

"Right," James said. "Come inside, I'll start filling you in. Quickly! Sirius' life depends on it."

**OoOoOoO**

Sirius was chained to a wall, hanging from his wrists. His face was swollen and bleeding. His brain groggily registered that his eye socket was probably broken, along with his nose. He vaguely thought that one of his legs, and probably several of his ribs were broken as well, but he was in so much pain that he couldn't be sure.

Antonin Dolohov was pacing back and forth in front of the unfortunate man.

"Tell me, Mr. Black. Do you think this refusal to talk is doing you any good? We're brewing a Veritaserum now. It will be ready by… nine tonight. And then you'll answer everything I ask gladly.

Sirius cleared his throat, ignoring the searing pain that movement caused to flare in his face.

"Sirius Black. Order of the Phoenix, soldier against—"

His head snapped back to crack painfully against the wall. Red blossomed in his eyes, and he hacked out a bloody cough. Dolohov's wand was trained on him, a sneer on his face.

"Honestly, Black. You're just asking for it. And I am more than willing to oblige." He muttered a curse under his breath, and the screaming began again.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus reappeared in his bedroom with a sharp crack. The sun was now fully up, and he immediately set about gathering materials for a few potions he was planning on using to help when the members of the Order showed up.

Muttering to himself, he turned and gave a violent start of surprise when he saw Sariah, who had been sitting quietly in the shadows.

"The sun's up. What are you doing here… shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked, worriedly, and his eyes widened when he saw that she was bleeding from her ears.

"I needed to talk to you," she replied, noticing where he was looking and wiping away the blood that was moving slowly down her face. "This happens when I stay awake during the day. Annoying, but not harmful unless I stay up for several days."

"Ah," Remus said, not quite believing her.

She watched him for a second more, and then shook her head.

"You worry too much about me. I'll be fine. Anyway, I needed to talk to you about the traitor—I think I may have seen him."

"What! Really?"

"I didn't mention it earlier—I apologize. I was distracted, dealing with… Sirius—we'll get to him in a minute," she said, cutting Remus off when he opened his mouth to ask how that had gone.

"The man I saw—I didn't recognize him. He was short, thick—just over the side of pudgy and moving toward fat. He had dirty blonde, almost orange hair, shoulder length and beginning to bald in the back. It looked like he usually had it slicked back, but it was messy. Bushy eyebrows. Large nose, blue eyes, buck teeth, and a mole, here." She indicated a spot on her cheek. "Honestly, he looked rather rodent-like."

Remus had gone deathly still as her description continued. It couldn't be—there was no way. She had described Peter perfectly—down to the mole on his cheek.

"Peter," Remus breathed. "When—where did you see him?"

"Last night, right before I came to talk to you in the Beacons. He was leaving after talking to Voldemort."

"I-I have an idea that I know who you are talking about. But… I have to be sure. If it is him, then…"

"I thought of that. Here, look." She waved her wand, and a small bowl appeared in her hands. Then, moving her wand to her temple, she pulled out a silvery thread and dropped it into the bowl. "A mini-pensieve."

Steeling himself, Remus looked down into the bowl. Sure enough, there was Peter's face, wide-eyed and terrified. Remus watched the memory as Peter peered into Sariah's eyes and fled down the hall. He recognized it as the one that led away from Voldemort's rooms.

"Peter Pettigrew," he said dully. "I… can't believe it. He's… one of my best friends. And he's the traitor." Remus' eyes hardened. "The bastard. I'll kill him for this." He looked back up at Sariah, already opening his mouth to ask about Sirius, when a terrible thought occurred to him.

James and Lily were going to make Peter their Secret Keeper, and Voldemort had decided that he wanted the Potters dead. They'd be handed in on a silver platter. This new news couldn't wait—not even a second.

"I need to find James," Remus said, looking at the vampire. "Can you, I don't know, try to delay whatever it is that they're doing to Sirius?"

"Yes, I'll try."

"Until nightfall. James is gathering people—they'll be here then. I'm going after the traitor."

"Good luck."

Remus nodded briskly, then turned and Disapparated once again.

**OoOoOoO**

"Right, everyone!" James whistled to get the wizards that were gathered in his living room's attention. With a flick of his wand, he made a ghostly projection of the castle—an enlargement of what Remus had drawn an hour or so earlier—appear on the wall.

"Everyone here? Good, so our, uh, informant… has provided us with a plan that should allow us to successfully rescue Sirius, plus bag just about everyone staying in this castle at the same time. Voldemort is even supposed to be there. Our main advantage is the element of surprise—this is happening fast—they shouldn't have any warning that we're coming. We'll—"

Suddenly, there was a loud crack, and the informant himself, Remus Lupin, appeared in the middle of the room. He looked around wildly for half a second, and then, spotting his quarry, drew his wand and advanced on a visibly shaking and extremely terrified Peter.

It was an uproar. Wands were drawn, spells were thrown and everyone in the room started screaming.

"He's the traitor!" Remus was able to get out, right before a well-placed spell from one of the Prewitts knocked him unconscious.

Dumbledore looked sharply at Peter, who had suddenly gone very pale.

"Enough!" the older wizard said sharply, raising his voice over the confused babble of voices and gesturing to the prone body of Remus. "Mr. Lupin has spent the last year deep undercover in Voldemort's camp, at my request. Someone revive him, so we may hear what he has to say."

The silence was immediate, and several people's mouths fell open in shock. No one moved for a moment, except for Peter, who was slowly sliding along the wall in an effort to distance himself from the unconscious werewolf, and Lily, who had moved to Remus' side and was trying to wake him up.

"Mr. Pettigrew, if you wouldn't mind standing still. If Mr. Lupin is mistaken, you have nothing to fear, correct?" Dumbledore calmly stated.

**OoOoOoO**

Sariah was dizzy. Daytime blurred her thoughts, but she needed to get things rolling. Change into the bear… go get Sirius… slow down Dolohov. She took a grounding breath, and left Remus' room, flinching when her skin immediately started sizzling. So she shifted, relaxing when she felt her skin stop burning and her thoughts clear a bit.

She ambled toward the dungeons, snarling at the occasional person she passed. How was she going to delay Sirius'… whatever?

God, she hated this, feeling like she was out of control. She growled under her breath, wishing that stupid fucking Remus didn't have a stupid fucking boyfriend that loved him so damn much… the lucky bastard. Still, they'd need to play this very, very carefully.

She smashed into the room where Sirius was being held, surprising Dolohov. Changing back into herself, she snapped at him to leave.

"Why? I'm just getting to –"

"For reasons unfathomable to me, I've been told to stay awake today," she lied. "I need a drink, so. It's either you or Black. Which would you prefer?"

"I –"

"Out."

Dolohov paled slightly, but left, and Sariah turned to Sirius, who was collapsed in a corner. He watched her warily. "You actually gonna bit me?"

She raised an eyebrow and took a shaky breath. "Yes. It's daytime. I need to be able to think, I have something to tell you… plus, appearances and all that…" she staggered slightly. "Look, sorry."

She moved forward, and before Sirius could react (not that he could really move even if he wanted to) her fangs were breaking skin on his neck, and he cried out in pain as she drank deeply.

After a minute, during which Sirius started feeling a little lightheaded himself, she pulled back, wiping her mouth. "Sorry," she said again, her movements a little steadier. Sirius just stared at her, blood dripping down his neck.

"Right. News," she slurred out, trying not to think about how wonderful the taste still lingering in her mouth was, and how much stronger she'd be if she just drained him…

"Remus talked to James. Your rescue's set for nightfall. And. We found out who the traitor is. Remus went to confront him, maybe bring him in. We'll… be out. Remus can go home. He'll be back with you."

Sirius nodded slowly. He was thrilled, but too hurt to show it. "Who?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

Sirius blanched.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus groaned and lifted a shaky hand to his head. He felt like he'd gone ten rounds with a troll. Flaming red hair blurrily came into focus above him.

"Remus, come on, wake up."

The red hair was replaced by white, and Dumbledore's voice broke through the haze this time.

"Mr. Lupin, please. We need you wake up and clarify your statements."

Remus shook his head and sat up, realizing that he was surrounded by a roomful of wizards, all in varying degrees of anger, several with wands out. He noticed with some relief that not all wands were pointed at him—several were trained on Peter, who was cowering in a corner.

He turned to Dumbledore, his head still spinning slightly. "Sariah saw him coming out of Voldemort's rooms. She showed me her memory in a Pensieve. He was there."

Peter squeaked. Some of the wands that had still been pointed at Remus swiveled in his direction.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself, Mr. Pettigrew?" Dumbledore's voice was low and slightly dangerous.

"I wasn't there! He's lying, he's a werewolf! And, and, you'd believe the word of a vampire over me? I've been—through it all! I-I'm—"

"If you weren't there, how'd you know Sariah is a vampire, Peter? No one in the Order knows who she is." Remus said softly. The rest of the wands in the room trained on Peter.

"Enough," Dumbledore said softly. "Someone please take Mr. Pettigrew to the Ministry for questioning, please."

Peter wailed when a wizard and a witch Remus didn't know stepped forward. They grabbed his arms, and disappeared with a crack.

Everyone in the room seemed to let out a breath, and then they turned to Remus, who turned red under their scrutiny. "I guess it doesn't matter now if everyone knows…"

Dumbledore reached down and helped him stand. "Thank you, Remus," he said softly. Lily gave a sobbing cry, and pulled Remus into a hug. A very pale James hugged him next, whispering "We should talk, soon," in his ear before pulling away.

While Remus had been expecting a somewhat emotional reunion with those that knew he had been undercover, he was very surprised when the rest of the members of the Order also pressed forward, some hugging, some shaking his hand, and in the case of Gideon Prewitt, profusely apologizing for stupefying him.

**OoOoOoO**

After being assured that James, Lily, and Dumbledore would continue to plan Sirius' rescue, Remus decided it would be best if he returned to the base and attempted to lower some of the defenses so the other Order members would have easier access when they attacked in the evening.

So, Remus Disapparated once again, stumbling in exhaustion when he reappeared in his rooms. Sariah was gone, and he was too tired to look for her. He blearily set an alarm to wake him in two hours' time, and fell face first on his bed, asleep before he hit the pillow.

When he awoke, he wasn't alone. Regulus Black was sitting in a chair in the corner, nervously running his hands through his black hair. As always when he saw the man, Remus was slightly disconcerted—Regulus looked almost exactly like Sirius. If Regulus didn't habitually keep his hair extremely short, they could easily have passed for one another.

"Did you want something, Regulus?" he asked warily.

"Sirius is here. In the dungeons. Being tortured."

"I was aware."

Regulus suddenly looked furious. He stood quickly and pulled Remus up by the collar of his cloak. "And so you're just going to let it be? Sirius told me you two were in love! You're just going to let him die? Just like that, no remorse, you fucking animal!" He shoved Remus backward and then dropped into the chair again, hands covering his face, muffled sobs leaking from underneath.

Remus stood and went to Regulus. "Do you really want to help your brother? Because you're right, I do love him, and I am not planning on letting him die here."

Regulus looked up, face streaked with tears, and nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Sirius' rescue starts._

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, violence_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ Two more chapters and an epilogue to go. Thank you thank you thank you for the reviews, and keep 'em coming! Enjoy :)_

_Also, I fixed a formatting thing from chapter 9, so that's what's going on if you got multiple alerts or something. _

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

"The problem between the two of us is… I have no idea if I can trust you, Regulus." Remus was pacing back and forth in his rooms, and the young wizard was still sitting in a chair, occasionally gulping air to keep from crying again. "I mean, you _are_ a Death Eater…" Remus continued.

Regulus looked at him, his tear-streaked face incredulous. "As are you."

Remus stopped pacing and regarded him silently. Finally, after a very long pause, he sighed. "My dedication to your brother… supersedes my allegiance to Lord Voldemort."

Regulus nodded slowly, and looked down again. "When I joined the Death Eaters, I did so with the promise that since I was a member, Sirius would be left alone. I wouldn't have joined up if I'd thought Sirius would ever be in danger."

Remus raised his eyebrows, surprised. "I… didn't realize… you were…"

"That I cared?" Regulus said harshly. "I do. He's my _brother_, Remus. And without him, I doubt I would have survived childhood. Our father is… a rather violent man. Sirius made sure all his attentions were focused away from me. I owe him my life. I won't—will. _not_. let him die."

Remus gave him a small half-smile. "Well. When I found out Sirius had been taken," he said slowly, half-lying, as there was no need for Regulus to know the whole truth, "I contacted the Order of the Phoenix."

Regulus' eyes widened. "What!"

"There was no other way," Remus shrugged. "Anyway, I talked to my old friends. They're planning a rescue for nightfall. Several of the Dark Lord's supporters will be out of the castle. There is a good chance the Sirius will be rescued and we will not suffer heavy losses."

"I don't care if we suffer heavy losses. I won't be a Death Eater after tonight."

"Hmm," Remus said. "No, neither of us likely will. We'll probably be found out if we help the Order. We may be killed."

"Don't care."

"My sentiments, as well. For now, we should patrol the castle, try to lift as many protection spells as we can. We can give the Order members easier access that way." Remus was nervous telling Regulus this—despite Regulus' confession, he still didn't really trust him.

"Fine," Regulus said shortly. "I'll meet you back here a little before sundown." He stood up and wiped his face, strode to the door and then stopped, his hand on the latch. His eyes were fixed firmly on the ground.

"When we were in school Sirius always raved about you. He drove me crazy—Remus did this, Remus did that. Remus is so wonderful..." he sighed. "You were his life. So I hated you when you left him, because I can't even imagine the pain he went through. That _you_ put him through. After this… don't hurt him again, because I swear to Merlin, I will kill you."

"The last thing I want is for Sirius to suffer."

"Good." Regulus threw open the door and stalked out, slamming it behind him.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus was sliding as silently as he could down a side corridor. He had his wand out, and was muttering softly to himself as he broke the stunning jinx that was set to go off if anyone other than a resident of the castle stepped down here.

He breathed out a sigh as he successfully lifted the jinx. This was hard work—several of the protection spells he'd already broken were very complex, and he was still quite tired. He hoped Regulus was able to work faster than he was.

Remus turned a corner and slammed into something warm and solid. He fell over and landed on his back, looking up into a face he had managed to avoid for the last several days.

"Igor."

Their… relationship, for lack of a better word… had improved since Sariah had spoken to him a few months ago. His rising in the ranks of Greyback's pack had also helped slow the violence, but Remus had recently reached his breaking point.

Truthfully, Karkaroff was beyond disgusting, and Remus had felt progressively dirtier and dirtier every time they had fucked. He was reminded strongly of his aversion when he now laid eyes on Igor, and last night's passionate encounter with Sirius only served to strengthen his repulsion with the older wizard.

"Remus. Haven't seen you in awhile. What are you doing here—wasn't the full last night? Shouldn't you be recuperating?"

"I'm fine," Remus gritted out, pushing himself to his feet. He stepped back, not bothering to hide the small snarl on his lips when he realized Karkaroff had moved uncomfortably close. The older wizard reached out and caught a hold of Remus' robes, running his fingers over the clasp.

"Well… if you feel fine, you should come back to my rooms. It's been awhile." He bared his yellow teeth in what may have been his attempt at a smile, and Remus' snarl grew more pronounced.

"No," Remus said shortly, pulling his robes from Igor's grasp. "I'm busy."

Igor's eyes narrowed. "Doing what?"

Remus blinked. "Patrolling."

"No, you're not," Karkaroff said, his voice suspicious. "Greyback's second in command doesn't get patrol duty. What are you really doing?" Suddenly, his hand flashed down, then back up, and Remus was staring at the tip of a wand before he had a chance to react.

Karkaroff glanced around, and seeing nothing amiss, began to slowly lower his wand. Remus relaxed for a moment before a calculating look shone in Igor's eye, and he muttered a showing spell under his breath, looking for ambient spells in the air and walls around the two men. His face twisted into a snarl when he found nothing. Remus flinched.

"You're breaking the protections on the castle, Lupin."

"…No, I'm not… why would I do that…" Remus protested feebly, trying to judge how fast he would be able to go for his wand, which was lying on the ground where he had dropped it when he fell. He wondered if he could jump to the side quickly enough to avoid the spell Karkaroff would inevitably cast.

The Dark wizard pressed closer, his wand jabbing painfully into Remus' neck. "I think our Lord would like to hear about this, wolf." Suddenly, his eyes flicked behind Remus, and his brow furrowed, his mouth opening in confusion.

Remus had just enough time to duck when he heard a shouted "_Stupefy_!" Unfortunately, Karkaroff had time to dodge as well, and the stunning spell only hit him in the arm. While Igor swore and rubbed his bicep, Remus dived toward his own wand, and brought it up swiftly, yelling "_Impedimenta_" at the same time another _stupefy_ went sailing over his head.

Remus barely registered Karkaroff countering with "_Protego_" and then Regulus was by his side, pulling him into the mild protection of an alcove.

"Idiot," Regulus hissed. "You let Karkaroff catch you? What's wrong with you? He could be going to tell everyone now!" His eyes were wild, and he looked on the edge of panic.

Remus stared into space for a moment, steeling himself to do what he knew he needed to. Igor couldn't get away. It was too dangerous, he had seen both of them, he knew what they were doing… he stood up and stepped out of the alcove, wand pointed at Karkaroff, who was hastily drawing something on the ground with the tip of his wand and speaking quickly under his breath.

"Get up, Igor. I won't attack you with your back turned." Remus widened his stance, his face impassive and wand held at the ready. Karkaroff looked up, smiling nastily at him.

"Going to try and stun me again, Remus? Oh, I'm _so_ scared." His lip curled. "I should have known you'd never really switch sides, you filthy half-breed." He considered the other man for a moment, a toothy grin growing on his face. "At least I got a few good fucks out of you while you were here. I love to hear you scream, wolf. And you have no idea how pleasurable it was to beat you within an inch of your life. To make you bleed, cry for mercy. Better than the strongest aphrodisiac."

He stood up and raised his wand. Remus' face was still carefully impassive, but his hand was shaking very slightly. Karkaroff continued to smile. "Don't like to hear about how I plundered you? What would your friends with the Order think if they knew you'd been taking my dick up your ass for the past year? What would Sirius Black think? Would he cry?"

"Shut it, Karkaroff," Remus spat. "I let you into my bed to get information, which you so readily provided. Think about it—you're directly responsible for some of Voldemort's more miserable failures over the past year."

"Yes, well, not this time. This time, I'll bring your head in on a platter. Oh, and I've placed an anti-Apparition spell on the castle. If you were planning on backup, you won't get it."

Remus ground his teeth, and whispered softly under his breath, even as Karkaroff flourished his wand and opened his mouth. The Dark wizard managed to get out a shouted "_Avada-_" before a flash of green shot from Remus' wand and hit him directly in the chest. His face showed a burst of shocked surprise before he dropped dead where he stood.

"You killed him," Regulus said shakily, stepping out of the alcove as well. "That's—"

"It was necessary. Now help me try to remove the anti-Apparition spell." Remus waved his wand, and Karkaroff's body floated up and settled behind a nearby tapestry. It wouldn't be good if he was found now.

"Right," Regulus said, eyeing Remus carefully. "You know, you're a bit terrifying, Remus."

"Only when I need to be."

**OoOoOoO**

It was late evening, and almost fully dark. Remus and Regulus were crouching in the shadows, separated from the entrance to the dungeons by a large courtyard. They were watching a dementor float lazily back and forth in front of the large wooden doors. They were far enough away that they only felt mildly depressed, but getting past the thing might be a problem.

"What are we going to do?" whispered Regulus. "If we can't lift the anti-Apparition spell, they won't be able to get close enough…"

"They'll just Apparate outside the walls. It will be fine—we sliced through the castle's defenses. They shouldn't have a hard time getting in."

As they were talking, two things happened: first, the sun slid its last edge beneath the horizon, and second, the door they were watching opened a crack, and a long-skirted figure slid through the opening. Remus let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "There she is. I was wondering where she'd got to."

"The vampire?" Regulus' voice was dripping with loathing. "Disgusting creature. She was the one that brought Sirius in. Do we get to kill her?"

Remus looked sharply at him. "No. She's working with us."

"What? _She _brought him in. Why would she care what happens to Sirius?"

"…It's a long story. I'll fill you in later."

During their whispered conversation, Sariah had been gesturing at the dementor, which had stopped its gliding patrol and faced her. She appeared to be trying to get it to leave, but dementors were notoriously thick, and it didn't seem to be getting the picture. Finally, exasperated, she drew her wand and shot a small burst of blue smoke at it. It shrank back slightly, but then turned and glided away.

After she watched after it to make sure it didn't double back, Sariah turned and headed straight for the two men. When she reached them, she snarled slightly at Regulus. "I could hear you, you know. I'm a disgusting creature? I think not, you blood-bag. And I was nice to you earlier." She turned her attention to Remus, leaving Regulus pale-faced and gaping. "What's he doing here?"

"Regulus is helping. Sirius is his brother, you know."

"I am aware. Sirius is down in the dungeons, momentarily unguarded. His injuries are… extensive. And whatever Dolohov was doing to him, he combined with jinxes. I can't get his wounds to heal. He's in very bad shape."

Remus nodded, not wanting to think what could be wrong with Sirius that Sariah couldn't heal. "The members of the Order should be here soon, but we ran into a snag earlier."

Regulus snorted. "Snag? A bit more than that… Karkaroff caught us breaking the castle's protective spells. He and Remus dueled, and Remus killed him. But Karkaroff set up anti-Apparition in the castle, so the Order members will be deflected to outside the walls."

Sariah was silent for a moment, before turning back to Remus. "Why did you kill Karkaroff? Couldn't you have just stunned him?"

Remus' gaze was steely. "He deserved it."

"He could have gone to trial. Killing him was unnecessary. Your morals are slipping, Remus."

"I've killed before. I'm quite good at it, remember?" He glared at her, a grimace playing around his lips that usually worked quite well to intimidate the members of his pack. Sariah did not appear affected, though Regulus backed up a step.

"You need to leave this place. It's changing you," the vampire said softly. Remus suddenly felt embarrassed under her blank gaze.

"I know," he whispered in return.

Suddenly, the night was split by several loud cracks, coming from all directions around the castle, surrounding them.

"The Order's here," Remus breathed. "We should go. I told them not to hurt you," he said to Sariah, "but I didn't know about you when I last talked to them," he finished, directing this comment at Regulus. "Sariah, go see how you can help them. Regulus, come with me. We'll try to get Sirius out in the confusion."

The other two nodded. Sariah spun and moved quickly along the wall in the direction the nearest crack of Apparition had come from. Remus and Regulus sprinted toward the entrance to the dungeons and slipped inside.

**OoOoOoO**

James was surrounded by a loose circle of Order members, all who were rubbing their heads. Getting repelled by an anti-Apparition spell wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, and several were frustrated. Whispers were already circling that Remus had led them into a trap.

James was doing his best to reassure people and trying to get them to spread out and attack quickly, before they lost the element of surprise. Most agreed readily, and quickly, the twenty-seven wizards split up, magically breaking through doors and silently mounting brooms to scale the walls.

Just as James turned to follow Moody, a shadow detached itself from the wall and glided toward him. James drew his wand, and came within a half a second of attacking before he realized this was the vampire Remus had told him about.

She held up her hands. "Sorry I didn't show myself earlier. I didn't want to take a chance with a large group of angry wizards. But how can I help?"

James bit his lip while he looked at her. Remus had promised that she was one of the good guys, but… vampires… this was a bit surreal.

"I guess be backup for everyone. Take out as many Death Eaters as you can? We're trying not to kill unless we have to, but my guess is we're going to have to quite often, tonight."

She nodded. "Remus and Regulus Black are trying to get Sirius out right now."

James blinked in surprise. "Regulus?"

"He apparently cares more about his brother than we thought. He knows the Order is attacking, but not that Remus and I are spies."

"Alright," James shrugged. "Let's go."

**OoOoOoO**

Lily Potter stared out a window of her home in Godric's Hollow as she rocked Harry to sleep. Her face was lined with worry, and she had given up trying to sing a lullaby to Harry. Her voice was shaking too badly.

She was terrified for James and the rest. As she laid Harry in his crib, she closed her eyes and prayed that everyone would come out of this—that James would come home, that Sirius was still alive, that everything would be okay.

**OoOoOoO**

"_Lumos,_" whispered Regulus. All the torches in the dungeon were out—undoubtedly because of the dementor that had until recently been guarding the doors. Remus glanced at him and then lit his wand as well. Holding them aloft, the two men walked quickly downwards, into silence.

A few minutes passed, and a sickly yellow light began to flicker ahead of them, around a corner. Remus drew in a sharp breath and ran toward it, ignoring Regulus' hiss to slow down. Remus skidded around the corner, and crashed into an iron grate that closed off a cramped cell. He cringed at the noise, but they were deep in the belly of the castle—it was unlikely anyone heard them.

Inside the cell, Sirius was lying collapsed in the corner. From where Remus was standing, he couldn't see if he was breathing or not. Remus pointed his wand at the lock, but all that came out of his mouth was a strangled noise.

Regulus joined him at that second, and his muttered "_Alohomora_" sprung the lock open. Remus rushed inside, falling on his knees next to Sirius, and Regulus turned, watching their exit.

"Sirius. Sirius, please wake up, please…" Remus murmured, pulling Sirius mostly into his lap. He let out a shaky breath when he realized how badly he was bleeding… how sunken his chest looked… the odd angles his legs were lying in. Sariah hadn't exaggerated the extent of his injuries.

He let out a quiet sob, and Regulus turned to him, eyes wide. "He's alive, right?" Remus nodded, and then concentrated, trying various spells in an attempt to heal. Aside from healing a few minor abrasions and cleaning off Sirius' face, he was unsuccessful. He swore and instead conjured bandages, wrapping them tightly to try to stop the blood loss.

Sirius groaned when his muddled mind registered the pressure from the bandages. He opened one eye—the other was to swollen to move. Sandy brown hair and a concerned face swum in front of his unfocused vision. "…Moony…?"

"I'm here, Sirius. So's Regulus. We're going to get you out, ok? Hold still." Sirius whimpered in response, and fell into unconsciousness again. Remus stood up, raised his wand, and said "_Levicorpus._" Sirius' body rose off the ground, and floated gently in midair. Regulus again lit his wand, and the three men moved quickly from the dungeons.

"We need to get him outside the castle walls," said Regulus. "Then you can Apparate with him to St. Mungo's. I'll stay and cover your retreat." Remus nodded.

"Thank you, Regulus. I couldn't have…"

"I know. Be careful."

They had reached the doors that led to the courtyard. As Remus put a hand on the latch, they were rocked backward by the sound of a large explosion somewhere overhead. Bits of dirt dusted down from the ceiling, and the two men looked at each other.

Regulus took a deep breath and Remus tightened his grip on his wand.

"Let's go," said the werewolf, and Regulus nodded. The pushed the door open and stepped into hell.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, the battle, and shit comes to a head._

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, violence._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N:_**_ Sorry it took so long to upload. I've had a hell of a time writing this chapter... I rewrote the ending like 15 times... and I know the way I chose to go will probably annoy some people. Ah, well. Next chapter will wrap it up, and then there will be an epilogue. Enjoy and review, please!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Another explosion showered Remus, Sirius, and Regulus with bits of stone and dirt as they exited the dungeons.

"That would probably be the hexes along the west wall," said Regulus. "I was able to get most of them, but I couldn't figure out how to disarm the exploding ones…" He looked worried.

The two conscious men glanced at each other, uncertain which direction would be best for an easy escape. Streaks of light in every possible color illuminated the castle and their faces—spells were flying so thickly they didn't even need torchlight to see.

"Right," Remus said, making up his mind. "Let's go this way—we're closest to the north wall. He started to guide Sirius' body in that direction, but Sirius let out a low moan. Remus leaned closer to try and hear what he was saying.

"Put me down," Sirius mumbled. "Tie up my leg, s'ok, y'need use… y'wands…"

"I'm not going to—" began Remus, but Regulus cut him off.

"Here, Sirius," he reached into his robes and pulled out Sirius' wand. "You'll need this, I stole it earlier today…" Sirius smiled through his bloodied face and grasped his wand.

"Y'good brother, Reg…"

Remus, conceding that added mobility would be useful, quickly magicked splints onto Sirius' various broken appendages, and again cleaned the blood from his face.

"We'll support you, but at least now our wands are free…" he muttered into Sirius' ear, and the other man nodded slightly. Now, finally able to go, they set off in toward the north wall, all three holding their wands at the ready.

They turned down the first corridor they came across. Regulus turned to cover their retreat, so it was from him that a whispered warning came. With barely half a second to react, the three wizards found themselves being overtaken by a small detachment of dementors—six or seven of them—led by the Carrows, who were being lazily circled by a ghostly blue hawk.

The two reacted with shock when they realized the identities of the other three, but quickly regained their composure and began rapidly firing spells.

Sirius fainted when the dementor's presence washed over them, but Remus forced himself to think _us, the two of us, safe together, forever, safe safe safe_ and shouted "_Expecto Patronum!_" to deal with the dementors, even while Regulus expertly aimed, disarmed, and stunned the Carrows.

With the Carrows incapacitated, and the dementors falling back behind a growling spectral blue Padfoot, the two wizards gathered Sirius up and bolted as fast as they could down the passageway.

They slid to a stop, panting, within view of the north wall. Atop it, Remus could see half a dozen witches and wizards hurtling spells at one another—the Death Eaters seemed to be on the left side, judging by the amount of killing spells that were being shot from that direction.

"We could circle around behind them. Climb the stairs and ambush?" asked Regulus, but Remus shook his head.

"We need to get Sirius out. The plan is to send purple sparks up outside the wall once he's safe… then everyone else can get out, too."

Regulus shrugged, and pointed across another courtyard to a small door. "That should get us out. I'll go with you until you can Disapparate, and then head back in." Remus nodded, and after a quick furtive glance around, the two men staggered toward the door, supporting a still mostly unconscious Sirius.

They were nearly to the door when it happened. Remus heard the shrilly shouted curse, saw the flash of the red spell, but was unable to avoid it—_Petrificus Totalis_ locked his body and he fell face forward in the mud, dragging Sirius with him. Regulus spun and fired off curses blindly but with another flash, ropes tightened around his body and he, too, crashed to the ground.

Remus could see nothing but the dirt in front of his face. He was having trouble breathing, and tried to snort mud from his nose. Without warning, a sharp pain flared in his side, and he realized he'd been kicked, forced to roll over, and with wide eyes, he looked up at Bellatrix Lestrange.

She shook her head slightly. "Remus, Regulus… I thought more of you. You have forgotten where your loyalties lie." She leaned close to Remus' frozen face, and whispered into his ear. "But I should thank you, cause now I get some fun."

She straightened up, her eyes flashing, and pointed her wand at Remus' head. "Let's start with _Crucio_…" Remus was suddenly able to move again, but all he could do was scream and writhe on the ground. Bellatrix grinned, watching Remus' back arch, and Regulus shouted a muffled protest and tried to roll toward Remus, to do anything…

"Patience, cousin," Bellatrix crooned, momentarily ceasing her attentions on Remus and turning her wand toward Regulus. With a quick swipe, bloody gashes sliced into his chest, and he gasped, eyes going fuzzy with the sudden agony.

"Now…" Bellatrix turned back to Remus, and this time slowly pulled a shining knife from her sleeve. Remus watched her, gasping, still unable to move due to the pain that was still resonating through his body. "This is a very favorite knife of mine, Lupin. Do you know why? It once belonged to Salazar Slytherin. It's made from pure, flawless, silver. Would you like a closer look?" She brought the glistening point to hover millimeters from Remus' eye, and then paused, considering.

Remus' mind went blank. He was going to die. This crazy bitch was going to slice into him with a silver knife—he'd never heal, not that she'd give him a chance to. She was going to kill them, Sirius had risked his life for nothing…

The flat of the blade was pressed firmly to his cheek. Remus screamed as his flesh began to smoke, the pain of the silver somehow different and unimaginably worse than the _Crucio_ from just moments before. He tried to move, and found he couldn't—he was frozen here, was doomed to scream in agony for the rest of his incredibly short life—

The knife was abruptly removed, and a familiar voice rang through his head…

"Get the fuck away from them, Bella." Remus blearily sat up, his face on fire, and his eyes cleared just in time to see a dark, long skirted figure reach for Bellatrix'a throat. There was a terrible ripping noise, wet and crunching, and the witch collapsed to the ground, her wand falling from her now nerveless fingers.

But Sariah—because it _was_ Sariah—was bent over too, clutching her chest. She looked up at Remus, her dark eyes sightless, and gestured for him to go. Remus' confused brain told him there was something wrong—Sariah seemed to be smoking slightly, she was holding her hand clasped over something protruding from her chest.

"Silver in the heart… no good for vampires…" Sariah forced out, and Remus realized she was as good as dead. "Go, take them, get out…" she mumbled, pointing her wand skyward, erupting purple sparks, and Remus, working on autopilot, dragged the Black brothers (both now unconscious, undoubtedly from blood loss) through the door at their backs.

One last glance behind showed his friend's body collapsing in on itself, and Sariah disappeared in a puff of dust. Then, Remus was outside the walls, and turned on his heel, desperate to reach St. Mungo's…

The gleaming white walls of a waiting room replaced the crushing darkness of Apparition, and Remus registered shouting, a concerned face, and then everything was black.

**OoOoOoO**

Voldemort watched the proceedings of the battle below with a blank expression on his twisted face. He watched Bellatrix fall, her throat ripped out by the vampire, Antonin, blasted through the air to be impaled on an inconveniently placed spike, Lucius, Alecto, and Amycus bound and gagged, Disapparated, likely directly to Azkaban. Severus, Remus, and Regulus had apparently switched sides, Severus fighting side by side with the blood traitor, Potter, and Regulus and Remus freeing Sirius Black.

Everything was collapsing around him. His followers, dead, dying or captured, could no longer help him. Everything had gone wrong. Everything had begun to go wrong from the time he had first heard of the dammed prophecy.

He nodded to himself. A loose end. Followers, he could gather again, but this child… Lord Voldemort did not tolerate loose ends. He muttered to himself, and levitated from the ground. This new power, broomless, wandless flight—was extremely pleasing. He sailed through the narrow window of his tower lair and swooped south, leaving this castle of death and devastation behind him.

**OoOoOoO**

With the last of the Death Eaters bound and gagged, James finally felt able to breathe again. He'd seen the purple sparks some time earlier—so Sirius was safe, at least—and as far as he could tell, they hadn't suffered heavy losses.

There were several cracks as injured wizards Disapparated to St. Mungo's. James looked around, drawing in a sharp breath when he saw Gideon Prewitt, holding his brother's lifeless body to his chest, tears silently running down his face.

Nearby, Moody (who appeared to have had one of his eyes gouged out) was arranging the bodies of Dorcas Meadowes and Emmeline Vance. James held back a sob—perhaps they hadn't come out as easily as he thought. He looked up to the sky, blinking back tears, and that was when he saw it.

A flapping black cloak, and a glimpse of a pale, red-eyed face, like a oversized, terrible bat, flew above the castle, heading south. James cried out, and pointed—Kingsley and Albus looked up as well, confused.

James stared for a moment, fury that Voldemort was escaping thrumming through his veins, before something clicked. He was headed south. Toward Godric's Hollow, where Lily and Harry were waiting, defenseless. And Peter, the traitor—there was no doubt he had told his master about the prophecy…

James screamed at the realization, and bolted for the wall of the castle, joined by half a dozen Order members who had apparently come to the same conclusion. If they could Apparate, get there before him, hide Lily and Harry…

James had never run faster in his life.

**OoOoOoO**

Voldemort landed on the lane in front of the Potter's cottage. His goal was within steps—the destruction of the one who could overthrow him. A simple spell, maybe two, if the idiot woman chose to attempt to protect the infant.

He stepped through the garden gate—his hand was pushing open the front door—he was walking up the stairs. He could hear the woman's voice speaking softly to the child. He slid, snake-like into the nursery, the door creaking slightly as he opened it.

Lily's head whipped around, and her green eyes opened in dismay. She clutched the infant to her chest, raised her wand, and Voldemort laughed, high pitched and screeching. The baby began to cry.

With a lazy wave of his wand, hers went flying.

"Step aside, foolish girl. There is no need for you to die…"

"He's just a baby, he can't hurt you, no, please, not Harry—"

Voldemort shook his head, a small smile on his face. He spoke calmly. "You have chosen your fate… _Avada Kadavra._" Lily crumpled to the ground, her arms still wrapped protectively around her child.

('')

James was the first to arrive at his home, and as a result, saw the first flash of green from the windows of the nursery. He screamed, and ran toward the house, nearly arriving at the front door when the second wash of green flowed from his son's room.

He had time to feel his soul snap before his house exploded, blasting him backward into the lane and into the feet of Albus Dumbledore.

"No…" he sobbed, unseeing eyes fixed on the sky, ignoring the Order members that had followed him, who were advancing on the remains of the house, their wands drawn. There was no noise except the harsh breathing of the wizards and the quiet crackle where bits of the house had caught on fire.

The world stood still for long moments, and then the frightened cry of a baby broke the silence.

In a flash, James was up, bolting past Albus, who had been kneeling by his head. He ran heedlessly into the ruins of his home, his wand clearing rubble and extinguishing fires without his conscious thought.

When he emerged, he was clutching his living, breathing son, upon whose forehead a lightning bolt shaped cut had been carved. Tears were streaming down both their faces.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, the aftermath._

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, angst_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

**_A/N: _**_O__ne more chapter after this. It should be up in a couple days. Thanks so much for sticking with me. :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Sirius blearily opened his eyes. Everything was very white, bright, and entirely too much for his screaming head. He scrunched his face, trying to block out some of the damnable _light_, and suddenly his ears seemed to turn on.

There was a quiet shuffling of feet on hard floors, whispered conversations, the occasional gentle swish that was only accompanied by healing spells. His tired brain made the connection—he was in St. Mungo's. He breathed a sigh of relief, and tried to look around.

The person in the bed next to him was breathing laboriously. His chest was covered in bandages, some of which were beginning to show blotchy spots of red. His dark hair looked sweaty, and he was shaking slightly. He was awake though, his grey eyes staring up at the ceiling, his lips moving silently.

"Reg?" Sirius croaked, and the man's head whipped over to look at him.

"You're awake…" there was relief in Regulus' voice. "Thank Merlin, I thought you'd…" he trailed off, and extended his arm, reaching for his brother. Sirius smiled and reached out in return. His memories of the rescue were hazy, but he knew that without Regulus, he and Remus wouldn't have escaped.

The second their hands touched, however, a loud alarm sounded, and a stern-looking wizard in Auror's robes popped to the foot of Regulus' bed.

"No touching!" he ordered, and Regulus' hand snapped back, a stricken look on his face.

"He's my brother, you ass, and he saved my life!" Sirius forced out, his voice weak. The Auror glanced at him and shrugged.

"He's a Death Eater. I have orders to watch him until he's able to be moved for his trial."

"But—"

"It's ok, Sirius," Regulus interrupted. "I should be punished. I haven't exactly been a saint in the time I was working with Voldemort." He fingered the Dark Mark emblazoned on his skin, and the Auror flinched.

"You switched sides…" Sirius said weakly.

"You were in danger," Regulus shrugged. "I doubt I would have had the courage otherwise. Even despite…" he glanced at the Auror, who was watching them with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. Regulus sighed, and fell silent.

Sirius watched him for a moment before forcing out the question that had been on his mind since the moment he regained consciousness. "Do you know where Remus is? Is he ok?"

Regulus looked back over at him. "He brought us here, so I'm assuming he's alive. I haven't seen him, though. I bet he's in the secure ward, what with being a werewolf and a known member of Greyback's pack and all."

Sirius gulped, and looked at the Auror, who shrugged. "No idea, mate. I'm here to guard _him_, not some werewolf."

**OoOoOoO**

Another scarlet-robed wizard was standing over Remus, who, unlike Sirius and Regulus, was not in a bed. The healer that was caring for Remus turned and glared at the Auror.

"He can't hurt anything. He has silver poisoning! He can't even get up. He can be chained to a bed just as easily as he can be chained to the floor."

The Auror leered at him. "Awfully fond of the animal, aren't you?"

The healer's eyes narrowed dangerously. "He can't help what he is."

"He could help siding with Fenrir Greyback."

Remus was watching the conversation over his head with fever-dulled eyes. "Please…" he tried, and the Auror turned furiously on him and kicked him in the side. Remus whimpered, and curled away best he could.

The healer roared in anger, and drew his wand. "OUT! I don't care if he's fucking You-Know-Who _himself_, you _don't. hurt. PATIENTS!" _

The Auror backed off and stormed out of the room, muttering darkly about reporting the healer to the Ministry. The man watched him go, wand still raised, and then turned to Remus, relaxing his face and smiling slightly.

"Ok, Mr. Lupin. Sorry about that. Let's deal with the silver." He conjured a narrow bed out of the air and helped Remus lay down, but didn't try to unfasten the chain that was connected from the wall to Remus' wrist.

"Please," Remus forced out again. "I need to speak to Albus Dumbledore. He'll help…" the healer nodded, promising to send Dumbledore an owl, and Remus fell back into unconsciousness.

**OoOoOoO**

Dumbledore was talking quietly to James in the garden at the Burrow when an owl swooped down and dropped a lilac-colored envelope on his head.

"From St. Mungo's," Dumbledore mused, tearing the parchment open. James watched him with dull eyes as the older wizard quickly read the message the healer caring for Remus had sent. Dumbledore's mouth tightened, and he turned to James.

"I am afraid I must go directly to St. Mungo's. Apparently Remus is being mistreated at the hands of the Ministry. James nodded.

"I understand. I need to go check on Harry… send word if you need me for anything."

Dumbledore watched the man turn to head back into the house. Though the weight on James' soul was great, Dumbledore had not missed the flash of softness and love that had shown on his face when he mentioned his son's name. Times would be hard for these two, but Dumbledore felt that they would eventually be all right.

For now, he had yet another injustice to fix.

Dumbledore Apparated directly to the room where Remus was being held—he'd been given the coordinates from the healer. Remus was curled, unconscious, on a narrow bed, and the blue-robed healer was bending over him. He barely glanced up when Dumbledore appeared—he was concentrating on the werewolf.

"He's in bad shape," the healer stated without looking at him. "Whatever burned him was cursed, I think… it shed bits of silver in his skin. I think I've just about got them out, though. But I can't get the fever to go down, though."

Dumbledore nodded. "I'll speak to the Aurors guarding him. He is no true associate of Greyback—he was undercover for the Order of the Phoenix." The healer glanced up, startled.

"Really? He's innocent? I assumed…"

"And yet, you still treated him. Please, do your best. It would be unfortunate if he died, as he is the sole witness that can provide evidence against a traitor."

He healer nodded, and turned back to Remus, and began moving his wand slowly, muttering complex spells under his breath. After a moment of watching this, Dumbledore turned to go talk with the Aurors. He had several people's names that he needed to clear.

**OoOoOoO**

When Remus opened his eyes again, his surroundings had changed to white walls and the sound of soft voices. He sat up, blinking away the dizziness, and looked around. He let out a quiet gasp when he saw Sirius in the bed next to him, and Dumbledore sitting on a chair between them.

"He's sleeping, Remus. He'll be fine—the healers were able to undo the spells that kept him injured. He's been asking for you."

"Fine. He'll be fine…" Remus collapsed back on his own bed, suddenly exhausted. "What happened? There was a dark room… but now I'm here…"

"When you brought Sirius and Regulus to St. Mungo's, you were recognized as an accomplice of Greyback's. They detained you, but the healer who cared for you did not allow the Aurors to mistreat you. He called for me, and I cleared your name. You were badly poisoned by silver."

Remus nodded. "The battle? Did everything go well?"

Dumbledore closed his eyes. "We suffered losses. But… Lord Voldemort has apparently been defeated. He has disappeared."

Remus looked at him incredulously. "What? How?"

"He attempted to murder Harry Potter." Dumbledore paused, collecting his thoughts, and Remus waited, knowing Dumbledore would explain best he could.

"The battle went our way," said the older wizard, backtracking slightly. "We lost a few people, but overcame the Death Eaters. Severus Snape switched sides at the last moment—it was a deciding factor for us. As we were securing the last of the prisoners, Voldemort fled. He beat the remaining members of the Order to Godric's Hollow, where he attempted to perform _Avada Kedavra_ on young Harry. However, for unknown reasons, the spell backfired, and he was destroyed."

"…What about Lily?"

Dumbledore looked down, and shook his head. "I am sorry, Remus. I know she was your friend… Voldemort killed her. James and Harry are staying at the Burrow for the time being."

Remus fell silent, tears prickling at his eyes. After a moment of this, Dumbledore cleared his throat slightly.

"May I ask if you know of the whereabouts of Sariah? We… found no sign of her."

"She died," Remus told him quietly. "She saved us—Sirius, Regulus, and me. She ripped out Bellatrix's throat, but the bitch stabbed Sariah in the heart with the same knife that…" he reached up and touched his face, feeling a wide, jagged burn. "I'm sorry, she said you were close."

Dumbledore was quiet for a long time. "This war has taken many things from all of us," he finally said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He glanced over at Sirius, who had begun to stir slightly. "Try not to let it take any more, Remus." With that, he rose, and bid Remus goodbye.

Remus watched him go, and then slid out of his bed to sit at the edge of Sirius'. He leaned over and kissed him softly, and Sirius' eyes opened. "Remus… you're here…"

Remus nodded, stroking the other man's hair, and he felt the tears that already threatened begin to slip down his face. Sirius pulled him close, and they held each other in silence for a long time.

**OoOoOoO**

After all the various members of the Order were released from the hospital, there were still several things to tie up—a war doesn't necessarily end just because a leader has fallen.

The remnants of the Death Eaters were hunted down—with no one to protect them, they were found with relative ease. Some came quietly, crying that they had been under the _Imperius_, but some fought back. Still, a few weeks later, most had at least been captured and questioned.

Remus disappeared for another week, (though he told Sirius where he was going) and reappeared at the Ministry dragging a tightly-bound and sedated Fenrir Greyback. This seemed to ease anyone still questioning Remus' loyalty, though some seemed unhappy they didn't have yet another werewolf to hang.

Sirius (with help from Dumbledore) argued Regulus' case in front of the Wizengamot, and was successful in keeping his brother out of Azkaban. Regulus was placed under house arrest at Grimmauld Place for a year, and Sirius promised to visit often. Kreatcher was thrilled to see his master again.

**OoOoOoO**

Lily's funeral was hard. James alternated between clinging tight to Sirius or Remus and sobbing, and gently holding Harry, telling him in hushed tones about what a wonderful woman his mother had been.

The turnout was enormous—every member of the Order that physically could be there was, as well as many friends and teachers from Hogwarts, neighbors, and well-wishers. It was all rather overwhelming. Even Petunia and her insufferable husband made an appearance, complete with their own young son.

It really was a lovely service—Lilies of every imaginable color covered every surface, and the speeches given by friends and family were heartfelt and caring. James' speech about his wife brought almost everyone to tears—the love he felt for her was rare and special.

After everyone else was gone, three shell-shocked friends and an infant were left in the funeral parlor.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without her," James said suddenly, startling Sirius, who had been trying to get Harry to eat from a bottle. "Harry doesn't even want to eat, see? He's used to him mum…" James continued, gesturing to his child.

"Harry will be ok, James," Remus said quietly. "As long as he's got you."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "And we'll be here," he added. "You and Harry'll come live with me—us—" he looked guiltily at Remus, who flushed.

"I'm—staying at Hogwarts for a bit. Dumbledore offered…" Remus said slowly. "But I'll be around. I need to… reintegrate…" he finished lamely. Sirius' face clouded—they'd already had this argument, but he didn't want to start it again at Lily's funeral.

Remus felt guilty, but he couldn't just slip back into his old life. He needed some time.

James watched them for a moment, then turned to Sirius. "I'd appreciate a roof for a bit. A month or so, then I'll find me and Harry a new place. Maybe in Hogsmeade. A fully wizarding town might be nice."

The three men fell into silence again, only breaking it when Remus excused himself. He needed to prepare for Peter's trial—it was the next day. He kissed Sirius on the forehead and hugged James, saying he would see them in a day or two.

When he'd gone, James pretended not to see Sirius wiping tears away.

**OoOoOoO**

Peter's trial, in contrast, was quick and easy. Not painless—not at all—but Remus found that he had little sympathy for the man who was cowering, chained to a chair in front of the Wizengamot.

He told those assembled what he'd seen in the Pensieve of Sariah's memories, and that was enough. Peter broke down after this, begging for sympathy, for leniency, for mercy.

Unable to control himself, Remus had screamed that Peter's betrayal had directly caused the death of Lily Potter, not to mention that if he'd just been _loyal_ to his friends, half of the past year's atrocities would never have happened.

"You stole a year of my life, you _bastard_, and you took Harry's mother from him! You called yourself our friend!" Remus was able to lash out before he was escorted from the courtroom and dumped outside.

He was warned to control his temper, and reminded that it was only Dumbledore's word that kept him being at the mercy of the court. Remus sobered, exercising control that he'd had little need of lately.

He shook his head at himself when the guards reentered the courtroom, leaving him alone. He was having these ridiculous outbursts all the time—it was how he'd stayed in control of the pack. But he couldn't do that if he wanted to be who he had been. If he wanted to be with Sirius.

He couldn't do that to him—make him live with a monster.

He waited until the members filed out—Dumbledore stopped and told him Peter had been sentenced to life in Azkaban. Remus nodded, and went to find James and Sirius to tell them the news.

He debated—Apparition or Floo? He knew the men were at Sirius', (he guiltily couldn't think of it as his apartment any more) but he didn't know how thrilled they'd be to see him, regardless of what news he brought. He finally decided on Apparition, and appeared in the hallway in front of his old door. He knocked.

Sirius answered, and Remus' sharp eyes didn't miss the way his face crumpled for a moment in confusion. "You don't need to knock, Rem. This will always be your home, no matter what…" Sirius said softly. Remus just shrugged, and Sirius stepped back to let him in.

He hesitated once in the living room, then sat down in his favorite chair. He breathed in for a minute, relaxing into the familiar comfort, and then focused on Harry, who was crawling around on the rug.

"Pete's got Azkaban for life," he said, not looking at the two men who were gazing at him expectantly.

"Good," James spat. He got up and rummaged in the cabinet for a minute. When he came back, he was carrying three glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey. He poured liberally, and each man took a cup.

"To Lily," said James.

"To justice," said Remus.

"To those left behind," said Sirius.

They clinked their glasses and drank.


	13. Epilogue

**_Title: _**_A Wolf by Any Other Name_

**_Summary: _**_AU, Multi-chaptered. Remus goes undercover in Voldemort's army. This chapter, Remus and Sirius figure out their relationship_

**_Rating: _**_M_

**_Warnings: _**_Language, angst, insecure!Remus, _graphic_ boyxboy sexing, references to violence._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does._

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue <strong>

Sirius was sitting alone in his flat, staring out the window. Six months had gone by since his escape, the battle, Lily's murder. Things in the wizarding world were getting back to a semblance of normal—people were starting to lose their fear.

Remus still wasn't home.

Yes, he saw Sirius often. Almost every day. They spent the full moons together—Snape mixed Remus the wolfsbane potion now. But they never exchanged more than a few needful kisses, or the occasional grope. They'd gotten farther in the shack in Brecon Beacons.

And above all, Remus never stayed. Sirius asked him over and over and over, every night before Remus Floo'ed back to his 'temporary' room at Hogwarts. And it always ended the same way...

"Stay with me, Moony. I want you to move back in. Please."

"I'm broken, Sirius. I don't—I don't know. I need more time."

And he'd leave, his eyes fixed on the floor.

Sirius felt like he was dying.

**OoOoOoO**

Remus stepped out of the fire and fell heavily to the floor. It was ripping him apart, not being with Sirius, but every time he started to feel content, or relaxed enough to just… be… with the other man, the faces of the people he'd killed or maimed began to swim before his eyes, and he was reminded of what a monster he truly had become.

He couldn't get over the feeling that he didn't deserve Sirius anymore. Maybe he never had—Sirius was pure and good and never hurt someone unless he had to.

And with Greyback… it had become too easy to kill, to destroy. Sirius didn't need someone who had slid into that role so easily.

Remus closed his eyes against the tears he felt threatening. "Such a little girl," he said to himself. "Crying about every bloody thing…"

"You are well within your rights."

Remus looked up sharply, and realized that Dumbledore was sitting in a corner of his room, his fingers steepled together, his face thoughtful. After a moment, Remus pushed up from the floor and moved stiffly to sit by Dumbledore.

"Despite what you may think, Remus, you are not broken," Dumbledore commented once Remus had settled. "On the contrary—you are one of the strongest men I have ever encountered, and you have held up more valiantly under pressure than ten of your peers combined. Very few men would have been able to do the things you did and come out sane."

"…I don't know if I did. I have… nightmares, and I relive my worst actions… sometimes I wake up, firing wandless spells—I don't even know what I'm doing." Remus replied quietly.

The older man watched him carefully. "Your pain is extreme, but who has always been the one to help you when you hurt?"

The silence dragged out as Remus stared at the wall. Finally, the name slipped past his lips—barely more than a breath.

"Sirius."

Without another word, he stood and walked back to his fireplace, grabbing a small handful of powder and throwing it on. As soon as the flames burned green, he stepped in.

**OoOoOoO**

Sirius had curled up in Remus chair. Remus had spent enough time here that it was starting to smell like him again, but every time Sirius buried his nose in the fabric, the smell became more of him and less of Remus.

He curled his fists against the soft material, and let out a shaky breath. He was going to fall asleep in this chair again, probably. He did most nights. He almost unconsciously changed into Padfoot, needing the more powerful nose to separate their two scents. With Remus filling his senses, he fell asleep.

He didn't see the green flames appear in his fireplace, and he didn't wake when a foot stepped into the room. He shifted, though, when Remus knelt next to him—Padfoot's sleep-clogged brain sending out gentle warnings that he was no longer alone. He whined softly.

A gentle hand on his muzzle brought him back to consciousness. The next second, he was himself again, a look that was part confusion and part hope playing across his face.

"You came back?"

"Yea," Remus said. "Talk first, then… we'll see, ok?"

Sirius nodded, and went to the kitchen, fixing tea that he knew Remus would want. Remus stood in silence, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching as Sirius mechanically boiled the water with his wand, stirred in the leaves, poured, and added honey.

Cups in hand, the two men moved back to the sitting room and sat on the couch.

"We've talked before," Sirius murmured.

"Not about this."

Silence reigned for a moment, and then Remus closed his eyes and began.

"I never thought I would let it get to me so much. But I was there, and I had to do the things I did, or I would have died—they would have killed me. I tried to stay away during the fulls, and I was mostly successful. Sariah helped immensely. If it hadn't been for her… well, things would have been worse, if that was possible.

"I killed a muggle. Tore his throat out because Greyback told me to, and I _had_ to, and I tell myself over and over that I had no choice, it would've been a death sentence if I'd disobeyed, but I can… still see his eyes, Sirius. He was so scared… and I did that to him.

"I tortured the other wolves—it was another 'I _had_ to' because Greyback told me to—and at the end, I didn't mind. I'd bite and snap when we were changed, and I'd threaten and curse them when we were human, but I didn't care. It stopped meaning anything, I stopped feeling remorse, and that—that's why I'm… wrong, now."

Sirius shook his head. "You feel remorse now."

"Maybe now, but I _didn't_ then. Maybe afterward, but not while I was doing it. That's the issue. I changed—I was just as bad as them. I was the animal I've tried my whole life to avoid, and that means it's _in_ me, Siri. It's there. And I know it's there, and I… I don't want you to see it."

Sirius rose, suddenly furious. "Since we were _twelve_, Remus! Fourteen years and you've never hidden your scars from me. I touch them, in the most literal sense. I see everything about you, and when others see a monster, I only see you. I _love_ you, I cannot stop loving you. Even when I thought you'd… betrayed me… I didn't—couldn't—stop, and…" he dropped down next to Remus, and cupped the other man's face in his hands.

"You don't need to hide from me. Never. I know you did terrible things, but I can forgive you that. I have! I need you back. Do you remember what I told you the night you left? Cause I do. I'm lost without you, Remus. And I am. I've been wandering, and… you need to come home. I can help you with your scars… I always can. It just—it needs to be you and me."

Remus gulped, and pulled Sirius up on the couch with him.

"This will be hard…" he whispered, amber eyes fixed on grey. "I'm in bad shape."

"I'll make it better…" Sirius breathed back.

Remus nodded—the movement so small it was barely discernable, but Sirius saw. He let out a half-sob, half-gasp, and pulled Remus in for a mind-numbing kiss. Deep, but brief, and he soon pulled back and in the same movement, pulled Remus to his feet.

"Come to bed."

Remus nodded again, more strongly this time, and the corners of Sirius' mouth turned up. He grasped Remus' hand, and pulled them in the direction of their bedroom.

When they collapsed to the bed, particles of dust flew up, illuminated by the light of the candles Sirius had hastily lit. Remus raised an eyebrow, and Sirius shrugged.

"I don't sleep in here without you. It felt wrong."

Remus let out a soft breath, and Sirius paused for a second, wanting to really, truly, make sure this moment was real. When he opened his eyes again, Remus was still there, pinned underneath him, a very small half-smile on his face.

"You're here…" Sirius breathed, dipping his head down to kiss gently along Remus' neck. He sucked lightly on the tendon, then kissed up his clavicle, his hands moving to unclasp Remus' robes at the same time.

"You'll stay…" he mouthed in Remus' neck, and paused, waiting for confirmation, and as soon as he felt Remus' murmured assent, he pushed robes off the other man's shoulders, exposing the button-up shirt and slacks. He attacked the buttons keeping Remus' chest covered with ferocity—some made it through the button holes, but more were simply ripped off, snapping threads and falling to the floor.

Sirius pulled the tails of the shirt from Remus' slacks, and quickly undid the belt, button, and zip. He let his fingers trail down, and closed his eyes in pleasure when he felt the hard need underneath his fingertips.

Remus' fingers were tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, and Sirius willingly raised his arms so it could slide off. Remus trailed his fingers over the other man's chest, pausing to trace a long, jagged scar that sliced through Sirius' abdomen.

"How…" he whispered.

Sirius shrugged slightly. "Dolohov. …You're not the only one with scars now, Moony…"

Their eyes met again, and Sirius leaned down to recapture Remus' slightly chapped lips. Their mouths opened without needing to ask for entrance, and their kiss deepened, Sirius winning the battle for dominance.

He slowly ground his hips down, increasing the pressure, and pulled back to watch Remus' face—he always made the most beautiful expressions when Sirius was teasing him. True to form, Remus' mouth fell open, and his eyes closed, a small line appearing between his eyebrows.

"Oh, Siri… please…"

"Come undone for me, Remus," Sirius moaned, not taking his eyes off his partner's now twitching face. He slid his hands down to Remus' waistband and slowly pushed off everything below the waist, letting Remus' trousers fall in a heap at the end of the bed.

Remus, naked underneath him, made Sirius' already rock-hard erection begin to border on painful. But right now he was concentrating on Moony—he could ignore his own needs for a few minutes more.

Sirius slid down Remus' body, licking a few of the more prominent scars. Most he remembered—hell, most he probably name the month and year half of them were acquired, but a few were new.

One in particular was an actual hollow in Remus' hipbone, and the skin stretched over it was rippled and pale—paler than the rest of rest of Remus' already too-white skin. Sirius pressed his tongue into the depression, and Remus drew in a sharp breath. It was Sirius' turn to ask 'how' this time.

"Louis. When I took over as Greyback's second," Remus replied, a flutter of disgust in his voice. Sirius glanced up at him before bending to kiss the dent again, and then slid neatly sideways and licked a long stripe along Remus' leaking cock.

Sirius smiled when he heard a heavy breath being drawn above him, and tightened his fingers on Remus' thighs when the other man quivered slightly. After carefully covering every inch of Remus' erection with his tongue, Sirius slowly, achingly, brought his mouth to the tip and began to slide down, working any skin not currently in his mouth with his nimble fingers.

Remus moaned again, and tried to move his hips, but Sirius held him still until he had taken the other man to the base. He let himself adjust to Remus' thickness halfway down his throat (he'd almost forgotten how well-endowed the werewolf was) and then began to bob his head, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as he moved.

Sirius was acutely aware that Remus was stroking his hands through hit too-long hair, occasionally fisting a handful and arching his back, and even though he didn't think it was possible, he felt himself grow harder. He moaned around Remus' cock, and moved one hand from the other man's waist to palm at his still-clothed groin.

When Sirius pulled his mouth off Remus with a quiet pop that seemed almost unbearably loud in the quiet room, Remus growled deep in his chest, distressed at the loss of pleasure. Sirius rose up on his elbows, and shot the other man a skeptical look before Remus rolled them over, now moving down on Sirius' body.

Sirius reached above his head to grasp at the headboard and lifted his hips to give Remus an easy opportunity to remove his pants. Remus seized the chance, and practically ripped Sirius' remaining clothes from his body, before leaning down and reciprocating the action Sirius had recently performed on him.

"Oh, Moony… yes, like that…" moaned Sirius, (never one to be quiet in bed) and Remus mmm'd appreciatively around the other man's member. After a few minutes of this, during which the edges of Sirius mind began to lose focus, (the _things_ Remus could do with his tongue) Remus suddenly stopped and moved back up the bed to kiss Sirius once more.

"I need you, Moony… can I?" Sirius whispered while nibbling a path along Remus' ear. Remus nodded, and pulled Sirius' fingers to his mouth and began sucking, laving, thoroughly coating them. Sirius groaned, and buried his head in the crook of Remus' neck.

They rolled again, and Sirius, now on top, settled between Remus' legs. He teased a nipple, and at the same time, slid one wet finger into Remus' hole, crooking it and massaging gently. Remus arched, and whispered, "…more…"

Sirius smiled into Remus' chest and nipped him softly, adding another finger, and then a third, stretching, preparing his lover carefully. "Ready for me?" he asked, when Remus began to bear down on his fingers, seeking more contact. Remus let out a strangled noise that may have been a 'yes,' and Sirius removed his fingers.

He quickly muttered a lubrication spell, and drew in a sharp breath when he felt the cool slick appear on his cock. Underneath him, Remus fidgeted, and Sirius hovered over him for a moment before bending down to kiss him once again.

Joined at the lip, their tongues swirling around the other's, Sirius slowly slid into Remus, whose breath stuttered at the contact. Sirius barely had to wait for Remus to become accustomed to him, and was able to begin thrusting almost immediately.

He leaned down, pulling Remus tight, so the friction of their bodies moving together trapped Remus' erection between them. Sirius laced the fingers of one hand in Remus' hair, and grabbed Remus' hand with the other. He tugged the hand above their heads, and Remus used his free hand to grasp tightly to Sirius' ass, pulling him in even deeper.

They moved in perfect unison, as if they'd never been apart. The sound of gasps, moans, and skin sliding and slapping were the only noises that filled the room for some time, until Sirius jerked his hips—just right—and Remus swore.

"Oh fuck, Padfoot, fuck yes!" Remus swearing was such a rare, erotic thing that Sirius couldn't handle it a moment longer, and he came deep inside, his body tensing and Remus' name on his lips. The other man followed a moment later, the feeling of Sirius filling him proving too much.

When the tremors from their orgasms began to die, Sirius made no move to pull out, instead kissing Remus again and then resting their sweaty foreheads together. They settled into comfortable silence for a moment before Remus shifted slightly.

Sirius opened his eyes and met Remus'. "You'll get stuck," Remus said calmly, and Sirius grinned, pulling out and rolling over. He threw an arm and a leg over Remus, who hadn't moved an inch, and pulled himself as close as he could without initiating another go-round. They drifted off.

A couple hours later, Sirius woke and allowed himself to watch Remus sleep. The lines on the werewolf's face never totally went away—he was creased and scarred, but Sirius had never seen anyone more beautiful. He smiled when Remus opened his eyes, and leaned in for a lengthy kiss.

When they pulled away, Remus ran a hand through Sirius' hair. "So, I can move back in?" he asked, voice low.

Sirius blinked, and a grin split his face. "I believe it would be unacceptable if you did not."

They linked hands and pulled each other closer, already intent on repeating what they'd done earlier in the night.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:_**_ And that is it, people! Thanks so much for reading... I really hope you enjoyed it. This was my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic (actually, it was the first fic I started writing) so I would _really_ appreciate it if you could find it in your heart to review, pretty please? Constructive criticism would be spectacular-any insights to where I could improve would be much appreciated. And thanks to everyone who encouraged me throughout! Positive feedback kept this thing moving. :) _


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